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I've gone through waves of extremes, being surrounded by only ciswomen or being the only girl in the area. When I went to a Catholic school intended for girls, I was still too young to understand the fluidity of gender, and thus thought I was weird because, heavens forbid, I hated wearing those silly plaid skirts. When high school broke, I was finally in a co-ed environment, and I had friends from across the spectrum of sexuality, but with three new cousins under my belt, I was the only girl out of five for my grandmother and mother to dote on, and I was hit by an avalanche of 'why can't you be more girly'. But as the years went on, and more and more of my friends came out, I came to realize more of what Kathy Ackerman meant when she opened her essay with the desire to be a pirate. It was unfair to limit oneself to ideas of should and could instead of what lead to inner happiness, instead of exploring ourselves to find what lies within. Pushing ourselves one way or another because someone else says so only leads to inner turmoil. 

I've been thinking more about sexuality versus sexual orientation. I've found that sexual orientation appears to be a social construction in the way that our sex is. Orientation suggests a single direction--a rigidity that I believe is found less often than expected when talking about human attraction.  These are the vocabulary words handed down to us.  In the way that our bodies are sometimes forced to commit to male or female, the same occurs with our sexualities because for some, it can be hard to imagine a world where words cannot define. These terms do not provide the prope scope to explain and define the sexual, emotional, or romantic experiences of humans. And for me, that is frustrating.  It's frustrating to see eyes roll when I mention being queer.  Once, somebody asked me if I wanted to be "special"--if I was "above just being bisexual"?  I choose to use some different words because I try to find the most specific language possible to describe my experience and my feelings at this point in my life.  It would do little justice to pick one over the other, as they provide little space for reflection and even self-doubt, which I find is the best prompt for internal reflection.

Until class on Thursday, I had never been asked what gender I identify as. I had never thought about gender as something that comes from within myself. I thought of the gender binary as a social construct that was passed down to children from the moment they are born. Once a sex is assigned, parents dress their baby in "appropriate" clothes and colors, and give them gendered toys, like dolls or trucks.

I automatically answered "female" but then wondered if that was even the right word. "Female" and "male" sound more like sexes than genders.I didn't know what language to use for gender. "Woman" and "girl" both have strong connotations for me, and I don't feel like either is appropriate. When I hear "woman," I always think of a specific image, a female older than me. She is wearing a dress. "Girl," on the other hand, is too young. My age is suspended between the two, perhaps because I am in the inbetween age, the teenager still discovering herself. 

I grew up with openminded parents but I went to conservative schools in middle school and high school. Bryn Mawr was the first place where I got to see people of different genders being a major part of the community. I found Kathy Acker's essay "Seeing Gender" very informative. I do believe in the spectrum but I didn't realize until we talked about it in class that labels in regards to different types of genders are constricting and incorrect. I don't think people should have to define themselves using a term. Gender is fluid and people should  be allowed and encouraged to not stay in the Male-Female categories and find themselves. I found My Gender Workbook very interesting in that way, when Bornstein talks about herself and her partner switching genders. When we put terms onto people, even when it is done in a supportive way, it can make it harder to have the freedom to change and find themselves. Using terms can make understanding easier but it puts people in boxes. When you think of someone in a defined category you aren't giving them the opportunity to grow and change. 

Reading the comic Fine. made me think about the visual representation of gender. While we discussed "Seeing Gender" in class, we realized that we have a tendency to attach gender to things that don't necessarily require it, such as the written word. A few people said that words like "lilac" were "feminine." This is due to our perception of gender and what it represents. If we assign gender to words, what does that say about what we assign to people? One person in Fine. talks about how they feel like they are not strictly one gender, though people assign them to one based on how they look. People have a tendency to put others in to boxes or categories based on what they perceive about that person (particularly how they look), not knowing that they could be completely inaccurate about it. This is due to people assigning gender to a certain visual representation, much like assigning it to words, even though it could be inaccurate or unnecessary.

Jessica Bernal

Play in the City ESEM

 The Melting Pot

http://assets.upstart.bizjournals.com/resources/advice/puzzle_pieces-teamwork-shutter-UBJ*580.jpg?v=1

As human beings, it is in our nature to clinch to conformity. We pursue crowds in society in which we can associate ourselves and find resources available to our daily needs. We seek not only a friendly welcoming, but also a challenge to explore and venture through everything society can offer to its people. Without the voice of the people, there’s nothing worth establishing. Skyscrapers, restaurants, public transportations, schools, and etc. physically construct a city, but without people, without soul and diversity it means nothing. A city is a puzzle and the people are its pieces, without a piece you cannot put a city together, you cannot call it a city.

On Thursday I loved the discussion we had about gender and sexuality. We really questioned where these binarys and sterotypes stemmed from and tried to find a solution. During my entire life I have never questioned my gender or sexuality until i started to investgate the importance of knowing my body and what I want. However, although I never questioned my gender or sexuality I have never critized or judged anyone for doing so. I always found it crazy when people would. But i then realized that this topic is only questionable because society has demonized those that do. At one point in history it was considered a mental illness. Crazy isn't it? Whats more crazy is that people still think it is which blows my mind. However, on a positive note America has evolved over time to slowly accept the LGBTQI community. During our last discussion in class I brought up the topic about gay rights in America. Now, I know America has a long way to go when it comes to improving our country and an even longer way to go to in order to make everyone equal. But I want to highlight both the good and the bad about America's progress with gay rights. I did some research to really find out how much progress America has really made when it came to gay rights and honestly I was completey stunned. As of June 2013 36 states banned same sex marriage (Roberts). According to the Gaullpa poll only 53% of Americans believe that gay marriage should be leaglized (Roberts). Although i was quite shocked about how low 53% was I wasn't suprised.

I was not in class on Thursday, but if I had to depict my own gender with a sketch, I would draw a bowl and a mixing spoon. Cooking is something I have always loved, and it is a hobby that people of all genders have, yet women are more often expected to be able to cook than men. I think that many of my interests and traits are ones that people associate with femeninity, but they are not exclusively feminine. For example, I love working with children and want to be a teacher. More women than men are teachers, especially with younger kids, but there are also several men who teach young children and are amazing at it.

My sketch of gender in general would be a spectrum, ranging from one color to another, but with the middle gray area disconnected from the two ends of the spectrum. This is because although I see gender as a spectrum, society creates a false binary out of gender, and leaves out all those who identify as somewhere in between male and female.

Since I wasn't in class to answer questions, I'll post some of my answers here. I think the main difference between sex and gender is that sex is biological, and gender is mental. Sex has to do with what sex organs a person has. Gender has to do with where on the spectrum between male and female a person chooses to place him/herself. People choose to identify with a certain gender because of their appearance, biological sex, what society tells them to identify with, and many other factors.

I had a breakthrough last night while I was reading My New Gender Workbook. Kate, the author, asked readers to think about “any journeys [they’d] made across identities.” Before this comment, I had been having trouble connecting with Kate and her “twibe’s” gender identity experiences. While I was interested in them, I was at a level where I couldn’t truly understand them. That is until I was asked to think about my own identity. That’s when I realized that the way gender identity had been described throughout the book so far was similar to the way I felt about my own racial identity. I am mixed race with a Black mother and a White father (to put it simply). Yet all of my life I have been strictly classified as Black. Why? Because it’s convenient to put people in specific categories and think of them as just that. If there was a name for every combination and racial mix of people out there then our perception of race would be even more complicated than it already is. Is that a bad thing though? 

am also wondering what folks think about this form of representation?
http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/design-firm-gets-real-orange-new-blacks-great-opening-credits-151971