September 26, 2015 - 16:13
Three days before the production opened, she could barely speak her letter to her Dad. She had to read it; she couldn’t remember it. She had no attitude. Her affect was flat. I thought this was hopeless, that the performance would be a debacle. But Jones kept working with her; she made her stand with her hand on her hip for the last line: “How do you like me now?” When she was forced to move a certain way, her reading became more intense. By the opening, Garret did thrust her hips and remember her lines. She made the audience listen, commanding their attention. Whether her family (the ones there, the father not) were changed by what they heard, whether she herself was, once the public performance was over, I don’t know. But I did see an almost miraculous transformation from a girl who sucked her thumb to a young woman who stood in front of 300 people and spoke her mind.
fraden, introduction; p.16
reading fraden’s introduction, i began thinking about this particular story and of “success stories” that involve institutionalization.
garret’s story of transformation reminds me of a common transformative experience of women who attend women’s colleges. it is one i’ve heard since before i even applied to bryn mawr — ‘come to a women’s college to find your voice. a woman surrounded by women here will go though “an almost miraculous transformation from a girl who sucked her thumb to a young woman who… spoke her mind”.
thinking of performativity and how it changes us...
- during these times in which institutional spaces do allow us to grow, is it because of a happenstance that occurs within the institution? is it the institution itself?
- can we even separate an institutional space from the institution as a whole?
- how do we reconcile “positive” effects that happen within institutions, when the institution as a whole creates something “ugly” - like these instances of identity and growth that happen in an incarcerated program, but then while considering the prison industrial complex?
then i began to consider, also, more of this aspect of identity in institutional spaces.
Her veiled self coupled with Jones’s refrain, which says the dream is is not about color but about love, seems to undercut any simple notion of identity politics. It’s a wistful tune, a wishful song, that hopes to disentangle race from identity. It asks whether we can see beyond the color of someone’s skin, see a “real me.” Here, in this opening song, a more essential “me” is posited, beyond race, in the lyrics and the visualization of an indeterminable racial subject. The dream of peace—a song about peace—fades away as Dawson dances off.
fraden, introduction; p.8
who is a “real me”? is it possible to pull apart threads and boil down ‘excess’ to come down to a ‘true’ self? i mean, this is obviously a larger philosophical question, but it is through these questions that i come to questions of identity in institutional spaces:
- how do identities shift because of institutionalization?
- is it possible to alter identity only in ‘positive’ ways when operating in an institution?
- are these changes to identity, such as with garrett’s ability to perform her piece in front of a large audience, something that she sees as positive? why?
- who determines what a ‘positive’ effect of institutionalization is? fraden thinks she has seen one, but is she not also in a position of power when interacting with these women as someone who is not incarcerated?
i’m also thinking of what our tour guide said when we visited eastern state penitentiary about rehabilitation in the system. i believe she said that the original goal of the penitentiary was to rehabilitate, but rehabilitate to what? there was little space for individuality in the rehabilitation process.how to consciously rehabilitate without suppressing or erasing a part of an identity?