October 9, 2015 - 17:57
To survive three months of hiking mostly alone on the Pacific Crest Trail, Cheryl Strayed needed physical and emotional strength. At the beginning of her journey, she didn’t have either, or at least, not as much as she needed. She could barely lift her backpack, and she didn’t walk nearly as far as she had expected to each day (Strayed 43, 87). She was getting over a heroin addiction that had been helping her cope with the death of her mother (Strayed 53). She was often depressed, tired, or absent-minded. In short, she did not hike the PCT because she was strong; she hiked it to become strong.
Strayed speaks of her need to find strength early on in the book when she says, “Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me” (51). In this quote, we see that strength is one of her goals, and that she believes she can attain it. She also reminds us that this will be difficult, not only because she is unprepared, or because she lost her mother, but also because she is a woman. Very few women hike the trail alone, and many of the people she encounters believe that Strayed is reckless to try it (Strayed 74). In a wild space without buildings, strength and bravery have still managed to form a glass ceiling that hugely impacts the gender demographics of PCT hikers. Becoming strong is one of the many ways in which Strayed rejects gender stereotypes throughout the memoir: Her journey is not about learning to be a woman or not be a woman, but about learning to be a person.
In addition to becoming strong with regard to the trail, Strayed must also learn to be strong when dealing with emotional trauma. She mentions having once told an astrologer, “I’m strong—I face things,” yet four years after her mother’s death she has divorced her husband, become a heroin addict, accidentally gotten pregnant, and decided to take three months out of her life to hike because she cannot face the fact that her mother is dead (Strayed 31, 53, 56, 204). Hiking the PCT helps her live up to her own definition of strength. While facing all the hardships of the trail, including weather, limited food and water, dangerous animals, and uncomfortable boots, Strayed learns to face the hardships of everyday life. In doing so, she again defies gender roles, for the astrologer had told her that her father should have taught her to face things; instead, Strayed does this herself (Strayed 204-205).
The idea of emotional strength appears in another quote, when a Swiss woman named Susanna insists upon rubbing Strayed’s feet. As she does so, Susanna tells Strayed, “Your feet, they are very strong... I can feel their strength in my palms. And also how they are battered” (244). At this point Strayed has been hiking for quite some time and has entered Oregon. Susanna’s comment illuminates a paradox that has been lingering in the background of the memoir throughout Strayed’s journey: One becomes strong by being subjected to experiences one can barely endure. Strayed’s feet were tortured by the miles of walking in too-small boots; as a result, they are stronger than ever before. And as Susanna “[presses] her thumbs into the soles of [Strayed’s] feet,” those feet are also a metaphor for Strayed’s soul, which has been “battered” by the abuse of her father, the death of her mother, the detachment of her siblings and stepfather, her divorce, and now by the trail (Strayed 244). Because of all these things, and especially the trail, her soul has gained the strength to handle them all, and to let her heal.
The significance of the word “strong” in Strayed’s memoir takes on multiple layers when one examines the etymology of the word. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, “strong” is derived solely from a line of Germanic words, some of which mean “strong,” but others of which mean “strict” or “severe.” Merriam-Webster offers another possible root: the Latin verb stringere, meaning “to bind tight.” These meanings create an interesting juxtaposition with Strayed’s strength-finding journey, which is “wild” and liberating. However, Strayed had gone wild before embarking on the trail; in finding strength she learned to bind herself with self-control. Her becoming strong can also be seen as a response to the severe demands of the trail.
Hiking the PCT made Strayed stronger, both physically and emotionally. By venturing into the wild, she bound up the parts of herself that were flying apart and learned to face her grief and trauma. She overcame the fears and the stereotypes that insisted it was impossible for her to hike the trail alone. She finally, as the astrologer told her she must, “[got] on that horse and [rode] into battle like a warrior” (Strayed 205).
Works Cited
Strayed, Cheryl. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. New York: Vintage, 2013. Print.
"Strong." Merriam-Webster. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 09 Oct. 2015.
"Strong, Adj." : Oxford English Dictionary. Oxford English Dictionary, n.d. Web. 09 Oct. 2015.