December 6, 2015 - 14:52
Sasha Moiseyev-Foster
ESEM: Changing Our Story
Professor J. Cohen
December 6, 2015
Wildness and Wilderness in Wild: From Lost to Found on the PCT
The wilderness, nearly ubiquitously across human cultures, is associated with freedom, beauty, and purity. However, the word ‘wild’ has a very different connotation. It is often used to denote savagery, lack of restraint, or chaos. Both the wilderness and ‘wildness’ are central themes in Cheryl Strayed’s autobiographical novel Wild. Over the course of the novel, Strayed displays a ‘wildness’ of emotion, action, and mental organization, and uses her experience within the wilderness of the Pacific Crest Trail to tame herself.
In the aftermath of her mother’s death, Strayed’s life falls into disarray, and her mind with it. She develops very serious depression, and accordingly suffers from mood swings, unpredictable responses to life events, and a withdrawal from her social connections. Several years later her marriage has ended, many of her friends have ceased to be a part of her life, and her family ties are practically nonexistent. Her mind is wild in that she has no control of either her thoughts or emotions. She is wild in her grief, with no control over how she reacts to emotional stimuli, and retreats from both her relationships and society itself to proverbially lick her wounds. This wildness of the mind and heart is the most present example of “wildness” within the text.
Another, more archaic meaning to the word ‘wild’ is “sexually dissolute” (Douglass). This too is a kind of “wildness” displayed by Stayed throughout the book. She engages in multiple affairs after the loss of her mother, in an attempt to cope with her deep depression, and over the course of her time on the PCT has several one-night stands. Her ‘wildness’ in regards to sexual affairs reoccurs frequently over the course of the book as well; Strayed at one point mentions telling her therapist that she thinks about sex “like a guy,” divorcing it from affection or morality. As her marriage falls apart, and she continues to engage in frequent affairs, ‘wild’ describes more and more aptly her state of mind. She falls into ever more bacchanalian antics as her depression grows and her relationships erode; she starts to take heroin, have unprotected sex, and generally neglect both her own health and wellbeing but also others. In many ways, she resembles a wild animal, reacting instead of planning in response to major events in her life, and helpless to influence the forces shaping her experiences. Her mother, too, resembles an animal in a way; in the ecosystem of Strayed’s life, her mother was a keystone species, ensuring the proper function of the system as a whole. When she dies, and her presence is fully eradicated, the entire system falls into shambles. With nothing left to lose, Staryed turns to the trail to try and stitch the fragments of her life back together.
As Strayed hikes the PCT, the wildness of the country she encounters is secondary to her mental state. Over the course of the book, ‘wild’ generally applies less to the trail itself (which is semi-cultivated, and therefore not truly wilderness) but to Strayed’s separation from society. She frequently spends entire stretches of days without seeing another human being, and in the absence of any contact with other people, she reflects inward on her wildness. Ironically, it is the presence of an outward ‘wild’ that allows Strayed to work through the wildness within her own mind, and come to terms with not only the loss of her mother, but the unpredictable chaos of life itself. Through this light, her decision to hike the PCT could be seen as embracing the chaos of her life in an attempt to conquer it. By doing so, Strayed manages to find some inner peace with herself and her mother’s death, and return from the metaphorical and literal wilds to society once more.
The word ‘wild’ has many different definitions and connotations, but in the context of Cheryl Strayed’s autobiographical memoir Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, it represents Strayed’s lack of restraint, inhibition, civility, and overall mental instability, which lead her to seek out the trail. Over the course of her journey, Strayed transitions from ‘wildness’ in her life and mind to a more concrete, healthy sense of self. It’s only by travelling through an internal manifestation of the desolation she feels that Strayed manages to find peace with herself and her mother’s death.
Works Cited
Harper, Douglass. "Online Etymology Dictionary." Online Etymology Dictionary. N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Oct. 2015.
Strayed, Cheryl. Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2012. Print.