October 2, 2015 - 17:03
slippage
noun slip·page \ˈsli-pij\
1. the act of sliding or slipping.
2. a movement downward : an act of moving into a lower or worse condition or state.
In a world of constant change and interaction, slippage is a unconscious change in actions due to beliefs or values, or an involuntary reversion to the default setting of things from which one has previously chosen to step away—an unintentional “movement downward”, so to speak. Sometimes, the gap between our perceived values and our unconscious reactions can be great. Especially in an environment like Bryn Mawr, where my personal worldviews are often challenged by the words and actions of those around me, I often find myself making judgments and reacting emotionally in ways that don’t necessarily align with the person who I want to be.
This isn’t a pleasant reality. It’s much easier to skim the surface of the world, pulling out the things I don’t like and nodding at the things that I do. Some things frustrate and upset me, and to be quite honest, I don’t feel like examining them more deeply. So I don’t.
The Confederate flag display last year, for example, horrifies me. How, I demand in class, could two Bryn Mawr students not realize how obviously that their so-called “statement of identity” was racially hurtful, politically insensitive, and flat-out inappropriate? And how could they continue to make such a statement in the face of the clear opposition on campus? But then one of my classmates quietly points out what one of the flag-raisers brought up in class – the intolerance of “tolerant” people, the predominance of white feminism at Bryn Mawr, and the tendency of humanity, even in diversity, to involuntarily exclude some people in an attempt to include others— the exact same observation that I made in class last week.
It makes me uncomfortable, this realization that I am not so far away from my opposition. Although I may not initially want to confront the effects of my involuntary assumptions, or to reevaluate the things I thought I knew, they cry out to be questioned. And so I begin to question them.
To continue; in the aftermath of the Confederate flag incident, two students collaborated to raise awareness about the history of black people at Bryn Mawr. The project, which eventually culminated in several national presentations and a significant online presence, now hosts a guided historical tour of BMC’s campus called “Black at Bryn Mawr.” And yet, as we look deeper, this seems to be an example of slippage as well. Both of the students who collaborated on this project graduated last spring. Emma, a student of color, moved on to new things, while Grace, a white student, continued to invest in the program. This meant that of the two women left to coordinate and lead the tour, neither were black (Monica Mercado, the faculty member, identifies as Latina), and the black students on campus were apparently unaware of the project until after it was completed (bluish). The absence of current black voices in the tour itself is notable, as is the predominance of phrases like “the ways we treated them”, or “the oppression they faced”. This begs the simple question: who hands out the monikers of “us” and “them”?
While M. Carey Thomas is identified as a racist, drawn in no flattering light, and truthfully depicted, “the servants” are given neither names nor faces nor pertinent personal details. They are a group to be pitied less than people with whom to emphasize. And although some of this may be due to the limits of historical research (Thomas, certainly, left many more records of her time at Bryn Mawr than of the black hired people there), it is undeniably obvious that we have not yet arrived at complete equality. People need only ask about the demographics of the student body, or the clear minority of black faculty members, and it’s clear to see that the difference in experience for black and white students at Bryn Mawr still exists.
In other words, even the attempt of Black at Bryn Mawr to “tell the whole story” does not, in fact, tell the whole story. So I begin to wonder: how does one find the whole story?
In light of the most current controversy among Bryn Mawr first-years, the wellness seminar, I am forced again to question the things I thought I knew. To recap: the speaker gave a presentation on body image, the content of which was not a little controversial and the context of which was a less-than-ideal environment. Although the material discussed could have been somewhat triggering, people were strongly discouraged or even prohibited from leaving. This failure to acknowledge the individual experiences of students was both damaging and worrying. Following that was a heated question-and-answer session, which slowly degenerated into accusatory language and . Even though some of the concerns and arguments were presented were indeed valid, the way in which they were stated served to further polarize the discussion and shut down the dialogue. Some in the room were shocked, others upset, and still others were disappointed or ashamed of their fellow students.
And yet it goes further than that. The consequences of the presentation ranged from derision for the speaker to devaluing the opinions of the questioners to criticism of the administration or of the freshman class as a whole. Ironically, the original thread – what the speaker said – was completely lost in the uproar about what happened after she said it.
I can’t tell what I think, exactly, which means that I have no “side” of the debate on which to belong. I’m sure that I don’t agree with everything the speaker said, but nor do I think that she deserved disrespect. I know that I agree with some of the points the questioners made, but I also believe that the questions should have been asked with more grace. I am upset by the vindictiveness and accusation of the question-and-answer session, but I also sympathize with the people who had strong emotional reactions to the presentation. I am unconsciously slipping and consciously identifying that slippage, over and over again. And mostly, I find that my initial reactions—to everything—require more questioning.
After all, that’s the very problem with slippage; it is, by definition, involuntary and unrecognized. How, then, can we fix the issues that make themselves known, if they are hidden to ourselves? Is there ever a point at which we can stop discussion, or are we constantly and unendingly slipping into deeper and deeper levels of understanding?
It’s the question that leaves me puzzled long after the tour is over and the presentation is concluded and my pages of notes are annotated into oblivion. And so I continue to ask myself:
In a world of constant change and interaction, where slippage is both unintentional and inevitable, how can I learn from my own “movements downward”?
How can I continue to become conscious of my own unconsciousness?
Works Cited
"Slippage." Merriam-Webster.com. Merriam-Webster, n.d. Web. 18 Sept. 2015. <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/slippage>.
User bluish. “Black on ‘Black at Bryn Mawr’.” Changing our Story. Serendipstudio. 18 Sept. 2015. </oneworld/changing-our-story-2015/black-black-bryn-mawr>.