September 21, 2015 - 14:44
I was very competitive when I was a child, so my experience of play was a little bit strange and funny. I remember I was into riding unicycle, exercising on the bar, doing jigsaw puzzles, and making shining balls of mud since I was three. They were really interesting to do even now, but the reason I got into them was to show the accomplishment to my mother. At that time, being recognized and praised by her was everything. I could keep on practicing a unicycle for more than five hours alone, so that I became a best unicycle rider in the area. I did more difficult jigsaw puzzles than my older brother did. I was better at the horizontal bar than anyone. I tried to make shinier balls than my friends’. It was all about winning and making my mother happy. I gained confidence through play. So, I can say it is happy memory except one concern.
When I remember my childhood memory, what needles me is that being too competitive hurt my little brother’s confidence. I always won against him at any play because I was older, and better at everything. He followed me all the time and I really liked him, but in terms of getting mother’s attention, I became mean. Sometimes I said to him that she loved me more than him, and he cried. I knew it was wrong, but in this way I gained confidence. I am so sorry for him. Now I am doing my best to be a good sister.
Play in my childhood made me satisfied physically and mentally. Through playing my competitive identity was reinforced at that time. Now, however, I am not competitive and I do not take everything seriously. It is, I guess, I was too competitive. I was tired of trying to win everything and I became a little bit opposite.