September 4, 2016 - 14:25
There are various connections between people that bring together shared experiences; whether they may be seemingly insignificant occurrences or meaningful times, they create conversations that grow. The factors connecting people may include static descriptions of the self: race, gender, class. Of course, experiences and emotions can also bring together others from various paths and yet, these very experiences are also the factors that divide such similarities people believed they had with others. Jordan demonstrates the sharp differences that arise from disconnections through her own experience with people. From the workers in the Bahamas to the scholar pursuing his own independent study, Jordan believes that she will be able to create connections based on these few similarities she has, and yet fails each time. The links she desperately holds onto, race and gender, seem to crumble under the understanding that there are “fixed relations between these other Black women and [herself]” (41). There is no particular reason for her to even care about other characters, especially Olive the maid when considering that there is no real connection between them. When their only link is race, Jordan begins to question how class becomes the dividing factor as they are both “parties to a transaction designed to set [them] against each other” (41). Her position as one served by Olive continues to distance the two. Furthermore, the differences in their position leave a chasm that cannot be easily crossed when considering the new and old values that Jordan and Olive respectively hold.
Jordan’s use of the “us versus them” mentality furthers the notion that it is impossible to connect to others solely based upon identity. Although she meets with other women, their differences in race and perception of the world enhances upon the idea that real connections are based upon experiences and similarities that move beyond just external notions of identity. As people are instead made up of experience, they are able to bond with others in ways that were previously believed improbable. By sharing stories people are able to connect based upon “not who they were but what they both know and what they were both preparing to do about what they know that was going to make them both free” (49). By changing her perspective Joran begins to realize that there are possibilities in offering vulnerability, allowing the baring of souls and understanding what other people are experiencing. Making these connections allows for links to be made that are more than surface deep.
For me, these connections take a while to create. As Jordan did, I too searched for connections based upon links that I could immediately create. For seven weeks I lived with someone I barely knew and all I knew was that we were of the same race and gender. Basing a relationship using simply these links would have proved disastrous, especially when considering that there is really no form of communication that could have grown from this interaction. However, as time passed the continued exposure to someone who had shared similar links yet had contrasting experiences allowed me to understand where I came from. My circumstances, my experiences were totally different from what she had been through even though we were both Korean girls, born and raised in America. Even though we did have feelings that resonated with each other, I found that it was difficult to connect with others without leaving oneself vulnerable. In a state where I hadn’t known my roommate very well and was focused on other pursuits rather than becoming emotionally connected, I do not think that it was possible for us to connect as passionately as Cathy and Sokutu did in Jordan’s tale. While Jordan helped me to realize that it is possible that through emotional connection I could learn to feel that the ties I had with others weren’t just skin deep. However, it is still important to note that even if I do wish to connect to others, there are factors that make it possible to distance ourselves from each other even if we do try to make connections. Intersections between race, gender, and class all feed into disconnections that occur between people that make it difficult to connect to anyone else. Even with similar experiences, there are still barriers that makes these connections confusing, and at times, difficult to create. Especially when Jordan continues to talk to other students, she realizes that they “had moved away from each other, even while [they] continued to talk” (43). Even if there is a continuing conversation going on between two people, engaging in conversation leads to the revelation of further differences that may become the deal breakers that prevent a connection between two people. With relationships as fragile as those, it is hard to imagine the positive outcomes from simply shared experience.
However, leaving a vulnerability, and in Jordan’s story, a shared plan to become free may be the indicator of connection that we as people strive to achieve. Race and class and gender are all aspects of humans that may make or break relationships, however the experiences deriving from them may be the creators of relationships. The lives that people live after enduring the hardships or exhilarations create the stepping stones for them to open up to each other, providing a chance to allow others into their space. However, it is important to note as Jordan does, that using these factors to automatically allow connection is a sure failure. Creating connections and becoming the foundation for others as we lay our foundations on them is the sure way to create strong links that will not break.