October 27, 2014 - 21:15
Rose,
I enjoyed reading your paper. I was expecting an outline. But, this is nice. Aside from that aspect, this is a very clean. There isn’t much room to argue with. In some sense, that is good. But, at times, I would’ve liked it if your claim was a bit more complexed. After reading, I gathered that your claim had to do with abandonment and control. However, power of control wasn’t specifically addressed within the reading. So, that would’ve made your claim a bit more complex and developed more interest because it would’ve entailed a bit more conversation. While reading, it seemed as if you use the same transitions with different quotes to support the same thing. Which is good, but I would’ve liked to see something a bit more risqué. I loved it though, Rose. All in all. I just wanted to provide more themes to your claim as advise for your final paper. Good job. Happy writing!