February 20, 2024 - 14:02
"During the pandemic, hundreds of thousands of people were sick and society slowed down to slow the spread of Covid-19.10 Everyone, supposedly, had more time to rest. Personally, I was too anxious to find the time restorative and healing, although it was a welcome relief from the grind of commuting here and there. But after a few months, everyone went back to work – from home – and our place of rest became a place for work, and work bled into even more facets of our lives. And now, with things “getting back to normal,” the pace of society seems even more unattainable.11 Is it because we became used to resting without FOMO?12 We didn’t feel left out, because everybody else was at home, too. Short spurts of socialisation are now even more exhausting than I remember. Have we become homebodies and hermits, after spending over a year in isolation? I am exhausted. Even during the writing of this article, I had to repeatedly readjust and postpone for rest and grief. As a disabled person, who thinks a lot about time, and adamantly wants to challenge capitalist demands of productivity, I still find myself worrying over deadlines and guilt due to internalized ableism. Confronting and unlearning socialized expectations is a constant practice. I cannot physically keep up. I spent the day in bed with a migraine, constantly trying to convince myself I was well enough to write. Every hour or two, I would get up to get to work, only to realize the pain was still there. Even though I knew I was suffering from heat intolerance, I would question if I was really fine but coming up with excuses to procrastinate."
- Jillian Crochet, Rest and the Disabled Body
I absolutely loved the Crochet article we read. I saw myself in every sentence, but I chose this passage especially because I need to remind myself daily that all deadlines are really just arbitrary. I don’t need to be constantly scrambling and working until I kill myself because every single deadline is movable. Resting and taking breaks is necessary for every disabled person, and I should not be so afraid to request them.
One question I'd like to ask in discussion is why I (for one) tend to be so harsh towards myself when I need help rest and crip-time, but then amend so ready and willing to give extra time when others ask?