site sits

s

I never really thought I could be so miserable and uncomfortable yet so happy at the same time. I had a headache, but I was happy. I had a fever, but I was happy. I had sore throat, but I was still happy. I was absolutely miserable, but I was happy. I realized then that my pain and happiness are not directly related all the time. That there were some things that made me happy enough to ignore the misery momentarily and forget that I was sick. I was so absorbed in the happiness that I forgot how cold I was because even though it was warm out, I had a fever and should have definitely not chosen to stand outside for a prolonged period of time. 

except I'm still having trouble just *being here,* am still time traveling...

to last spring, when the bundt cakes were in action here.

I've spent the last few days focusing on what other people need from me. Running around, making myself avaliable, going out of my way to make things work for them. I'm glad I can make myself useful, but sometimes there's a fine line between feeling useful and feeling used. Today was so lovely that I decided that I was going to go to my site and do something for me--something creative, not perfect, and probably not meant to be shared. But I'll share it here anyway and call it my site sit. 

I spilled tea on this piece of paper, so I found some pencils, took it to my site and just doodled.

I returned to my new site today,
but got quickly bored.
The vista that excited me last week
(OUT from under all those branches...)
this week seemed empty.
But being in that space took me back in time...

to May Day, when the Cheshire Cat and Tweedledum were @ my site...

Is Wonderland any use to us here-and-now?

An eight track symphony of the leaves.

I met a millipede (and maybe a tick or two) in the dirt. Together we listened to the leaves, human hands rubbing against wood, and birdsong.

"In between"

the topic of thursday was "restoration" but the word that came most of mind when I went to my site this weekend was "rebirth" 

we talk of collaboration, but this weekend I went about it in a new way.... I shared my site sit for the first time, and with someone special to me (my boyfriend)