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Impatience on my way to a new site

marian.bechtel's picture

Feeling impatient walking to the site slipping on the ice there is so much I have to do today this week I don't have any time for leisure how do I have time to walk to this new place I don't even know where it is where am I going why is it so far why does this feel like leisure I can't afford leisure my thoughts are swirling I have to write papers I have to make a post and read and do my petrology homework I have to pack for leaving I have to practice my lines for rehearsals I have to remind myself to eat I have to clean my room do my laundry I have to apply for jobs I need a summer job what if I get no summer jobs what will I do I have to prepare for my phone interview on Wednesday I have to call my parents my mind is not present in the moment all it can think about is the future and deadlines and the distant dream of sleep I may never have oh god I almost slipped on this ice why is there so much fucking ice now I'm reeling why am is my mind always running at top speed why do I talk at top speed why do I feel like there is no time in the world I just wish I could

slow             down.

 

Breathe.        Stop        walking.      

Look       around.       Dark is       falling.    

One                step. Steady.          Then two.

Ice crunches              delightfully.        

Trees stand         sturdy         living         slowly.       Trees have no         deadlines. They simply          are.

Breathe.

The air is          crisp          in my lungs.

The sun drops              slowly.     Gently blankets            this place         in soft blue.

 

Breathe.

 

Breathe.

 

 

Breathe.

 

 

 

My mind is                          still.