March 2, 2015 - 18:26
Feeling impatient walking to the site slipping on the ice there is so much I have to do today this week I don't have any time for leisure how do I have time to walk to this new place I don't even know where it is where am I going why is it so far why does this feel like leisure I can't afford leisure my thoughts are swirling I have to write papers I have to make a post and read and do my petrology homework I have to pack for leaving I have to practice my lines for rehearsals I have to remind myself to eat I have to clean my room do my laundry I have to apply for jobs I need a summer job what if I get no summer jobs what will I do I have to prepare for my phone interview on Wednesday I have to call my parents my mind is not present in the moment all it can think about is the future and deadlines and the distant dream of sleep I may never have oh god I almost slipped on this ice why is there so much fucking ice now I'm reeling why am is my mind always running at top speed why do I talk at top speed why do I feel like there is no time in the world I just wish I could
slow down.
Breathe. Stop walking.
Look around. Dark is falling.
One step. Steady. Then two.
Ice crunches delightfully.
Trees stand sturdy living slowly. Trees have no deadlines. They simply are.
Breathe.
The air is crisp in my lungs.
The sun drops slowly. Gently blankets this place in soft blue.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
My mind is still.