November 28, 2014 - 12:59
One part of Anna's memoir that stood out to me was the relationship between her training and occupation as a nurse an her role as a caregiver, or, more broadly, the link between her profession and her personal life. In the final chapter, she notes how her experiences in her childhood home with an alcoholic father, "studying body language and the meaning of harsh words and anger" and "learn[ing] some safe responses when [she] couldn’t hide to avoid the chaos," aided her in adopting a caring and calm attitude when working with psychiatric patients. However, though her experience enabled her initially to approach caring for Ken with a positive and confident attitude, she came to realize that she did not know as much as she thought she did. I think there is a lot to reflect on here with regards to the ways caregiving is complicated when caring for a stranger (especially in a professional setting) versus a close family member (be that a spouse, child, or parent). There is much more to caregiving than the technical aspects, especially when the ailment affecting the one being cared for impacts their relationship with (or even ability to relate to) their caregiver. Moreover, on the techinical aspects, it's equally important to recognize the ways that a close relationship can affect how a person is cared for, and that caregiving can influence--strengthen or eat away at--the caregiver's attitude towards their loved one.
Some questions to pose for Anna:
How was caregiving made easier or more difficult by the fact that you were caring for your husband? How did your relationship with him shape your decisions surrounding his care and treatment? Do you think these decisions were for the better for him? For his health? For you as a family?
How might your experiences have been different if you didn't have the background as a nurse that you had?
Have you been able to care for yourself as wholly as you did prior to the onset of Ken's dementia? How? Or why not? How has returning to hobbies such as sewing and painting helped you? Are they still a part of your life now?
In your memoir you discussed Ken's ties to his religion and the way that his prayers, church community, and spirituality have sustained him. Have you felt any similar connection?
Why did you want to write this memoir? How has it affected the way you view the events it reflects on? What challenges did you face in writing it?