September 1, 2015 - 18:44
As I mentioned in class today, I dealt this summer with a great deal of inconsistency--among and within my friends, my activities and passions, and myself--and as a result, I grew in countless ways. Still, I've never loved change, and adjusting to it was difficult. When it felt like everything was shifting in an unfamiliar direction, I found it comforting to develop a schedule for myself. I lay in my bed at night and actually looked forward to the next day when I could begin my routine again--I exercised, ate well, spent time with friends, and followed TV shows to add some sort of rhythm to my life. It was through these repetitive actions that I was able to move forward through emotional hardships. And in this sense, the image of the gears seems connected to my mindset; I use a cyclical routine to move forward. Since returning to school and moving into Batten (an entirely new environment, but one that allows me to maintain most aspects of my lifestyle like cooking and sitting in nature), I have had to adjust my routine in many ways, and expand it to include coursework and work-study. When work begins to pile up and these weekly posts become a source of stress, this avatar will remind me that repetition can be (and has been) a source of comfort for me, while the rest of my life changes in so many ways. On another level, an important part of this schedule was riding my bike--a favorite summer activity of mine. While I used my bike as a form of transportation between scheduled events, like work and meals with friends, I would also take long bike rides to explore parts of my home that I had never taken the time to notice before. Over time, I've come to see bike riding as an important part of my identity; it clears my head and leaves me feeling more "me" than I ever do sitting around in front of a screen or working in an office.