October 2, 2015 - 23:36
Relationship power dynamics are often viewed in terms of dominance and submission. It is easy to view relationships as asymmetrical and unbalanced in terms of power. Despite the prevalence of such ideas, there does exist a direct opposite of an asymmetric power relationship: a symbiotic one. In a symbiotic relationship, both partners rely on each other equally, and thus form a bond through their codependency. In Octavia Butler’s Bloodchild for example, the main character Gan encounters T’Gatoi at a very young age. He develops a connection with her despite their different backgrounds and her supposed ‘dominance’ over him. As time passes, Butler begins to describe this connection as more of a codependent one than one of superiority and inferiority. She portrays their relationship as one that is mutually beneficial where neither party has to change an integral part of their existence in order to fully connect with the other person. Gan gives up his body for T’Gatoi to fertilize, while T’Gatoi gives Gan an opportunity to help his family and his race. Both of them love each other, albeit in different ways. However, this was not entirely clear to me at first and I had to draw from my personal encounters in order to see how this relationship could be symbiotic in such a sense.
One of my most memorable encounters has been the one I’ve had with the child I was working with at an orphanage. I was volunteering for a club in my high school because I have always enjoyed working with kids and I wanted an outlet through which I could help my community. To my dismay, I was paired up with a child called Justin who didn’t want to meet new people. It was difficult to get him to open up to the idea of letting someone new into his life, but I finally did so by bringing him a puzzle set one day. I didn’t expect him to love it as much as he did, but piecing puzzles together soon became our activity of choice. We didn’t necessarily talk at first, but I was just happy that Justin was accepting my company. Eventually, he became more comfortable around me and we still maintain a close relationship up until this day.
What is significant about my relationship with Justin is that we both influenced each other and the relationship was advantageous for both of us. I was able to contribute to my community and know how to interact with children; he was able to become a little more trusting of strangers and open himself up a little more. By the end of the year, he was definitely more social than he had ever been, or at least according to the chaperones. In a sense, we depended on each other to bring something to the table, then used whatever we had brought to advance our relationship to the next level, each time getting closer and more comfortable with each other. Over time, Justin taught me how to play some of the games he played on a daily basis (and made me feel like a child again) and I agreed to teach him some English. We had started off with a codependent foundation, but over time, we built on it and became even more codependent. Just as how in an asymmetrical power relationship, the dominant one can get an even stronger hold on the submissive one, in symbiotic relationships, both parties can get even more dependent on each other. However, it is important to note that even though it was a codependent advantageous relationship, we did not have to sacrifice any part of our identity to obtain it. We connected and contributed without having to change any part of our inherent personalities. Instead of forcing Justin to be more outgoing immediately, I instead found a common ground where we could both connect. I didn’t alter anything in our relationship; I just added an extra layer to it.
This is similar to Butler’s description of Gan and T’Gatoi’s relationship. Their relationship can also be seen as a mutually beneficial relationship. Gan clearly loves T’Gatoi, and T’Gatoi is able to reproduce through Gan’s body. In a twisted sense, Gan is also benefitting as his sacrifice of freedom allows both his mother and sister to give birth to human children, thus helping the entire human race. More importantly, they both benefitted from each other by staying exactly who they were. No part of their identity was sacrificed, even if Gan’s freedom was. If Gan were something other than human, this relationship dynamic would differ immensely. Their identity was what tied them together, so changing anything innate about themselves would have been disadvantageous for the relationship.
My encounter with Justin helped me see how Gan and T’Gatoi’s relationship worked. I compared myself to T’Gatoi, as I was in a position that could be seen as having more power. Both T’Gatoi and I are older and wiser. We have more privilege and freedom. Gan reminded me of Justin. They were young and controlled by the circumstances that surrounded them, but they had an urge to live according to their own terms. Through my relationship with Justin, I saw how it mirrored that of T’Gatoi and Gan’s. I could clearly see how both Justin and I were at an advantage to have a relationship with each other, despite our differences in privilege. Once I noted the similarities between my position and T’Gatoi’s, I started to see how Gan and T’Gatoi’s relationship was also symbiotic. In a sense, this makes this a lot more complex than if they had a master-slave relationship, simply because neither one has a hold on the other. It also means that perhaps a lot more goes into the power dynamics of a relationship than privilege.
Thus, my encounter with Justin led me to see that Bloodchild and Other Stories also shows a codependent relationship that works without changing any integral part of the identity of the people involved. It also reveals how different the nature of the relationships can be when viewed from alternate lenses.