October 9, 2015 - 00:11
Over the course of a few class discussions, peers of mine and I discussed the memoir Wild by Cheryl Strayed. The novel itself generated such mixed feelings among all of the students that it had taken me an unusually long period of time to come to a conclusion about my opinions. Perhaps the most disputed question was if Strayed should be blamed for her mistakes when she was emotionally wounded. Some refused to empathize with the author because they felt they "would handle the situation in a more responsible way", others agreed, "Strayed caused her own problems". However, there was one comment that silenced the class. In short, this contemplative student suggested that empathizing or blaming Strayed should not be possible. How can we judge a person's behavior when we have not gone through the same hardships?
When analyzing my answer to the question of empathy or blame, I finally gathered that Strayed was not asking for sympathy by writing her novel. Why be brutally honest about numerous affairs, an abortion, or even disrespect to family members if your goal is to achieve sympathy? Simply, Strayed wished to share her story and speak about the events in her life that helped her to emotionally stabilize again. Understanding Strayed is detailing her personal, emotional wounds, and receiving the memoir in this manner, is the only way in which I feel readers can appreciate Strayed's novel and support her emotional growth.
The idea of wounds and being wounded is a constant underlying theme in Strayed's novel. Throughout her journey, she is physically wounded in her feet and different parts of her body, but more importantly, she is emotionally wounded. Reading the novel and understanding Strayed's wounds allows for more understanding of the purpose of her journey.
It is evident in the novel that Strayed is emotionally drained from countless trials she endures with people. Perhaps Strayed would not have developed harsh relationships with different characters if she did not feel so hurt by her mother's death. "Nothing could ever bring my mother back or make it okay she was gone. Nothing would put me beside her the moment she died. It broke me up. It cut me off. It tumbled me end over end" (27). From that point on, every way in which Strayed acted was an impulsive and unsuccessful attempt to heal. "I was trying to heal. Trying to get the bad out of my system so I could be good again...then I had another affair" (36). Yet Strayed does not change her ways. "I ran my finger delicately over... the black bruise the size of a silver dollar that bloomed on my ankle...evidence of my pre-PCT idiocy...I'd ended up shooting Heroin with him" (66). Every relationship Strayed tries to continue becomes unsustainable. Thus, Strayed decides she will hike across the Pacific Crest Trail.
Regardless of the intent Strayed had in mind for traveling her route, she leaves behind her responsibilities and deserts interactions with familiar people. In the class discussions, many students including myself, were wary about the purpose of the story. Would Strayed 'find herself'? Would making this journey across the Pacific Crest Trail change who she was? Furthermore, would it allow for healing time for Strayed's wounds? Yet again, another controversy reached the class when students questioned her personal growth throughout the story. Strayed becomes physically involved with a stranger while on her journey, so is she escaping "the bad" in her "system" (36) or reopening old wounds? Her journey may not have encouraged her to behave with what society considers "traditional" morals, therefore some argued that she did not change or personally grow. However, her wounds somehow healed and she put her life back together.
After reading the memoir, I would argue that Strayed's physical exertion was proof that she could accomplish great things in life. It showed that if she was determined enough to achieve something so great as crossing the Pacific Crest Trail, then she could handle any hardship. Strayed's wounds were healed, still evident, but acted as reminders of her past decisions. It was not the isolation of the trail that gave her any epiphany or revelation. It did not fix her life. But it proved to her that she could overcome physical struggles, which lead to the healing of physical and emotional wounds. "My feet stopped bleeding and blistering, but they still hurt like hell... They hurt deep. Sometimes as I walked, it felt like I'd done something profound and irreversible to them by carrying all this weight over so many miles of punishing terrain. This, and yet I was stronger than ever. Even with that tremendous pack of mine, I was capable of hammering out the big miles now" (275).
Works Cited
Strayed, Cheryl. Wild. New York City: Vintage House, 2012. Print.