December 15, 2015 - 01:17
I remember running into the classroom on my first day, breathless from my climb up the stairs (fun fact: one girl carrying a heavy bag can, if properly motivated, run from the entrance of Taylor up the stairs and to our classroom in ~45 seconds), unsure of what to expect and confronted by a dozen other faces who looked as about as thrilled for this class as I was. As I joined the circle and we waited for the session to begin, my feelings of apprehension grew. It was so quiet. I offered a tentative smile to the person next to me, and she smiled back… and then I ducked my head and looked away, unsure of what to do next. What do you even do in an E-Sem, anyway? I thought, and then, Wow, I feel like even my breathing is too loud. Thankfully, I was wrong and E-Sem turned out to be one of my favorite classes.
At the beginning, I didn’t feel particularly challenged… while I contributed to the discussion, there wasn’t a lot of disagreement in our class sessions. Merely the fact that one of us spoke up seemed to alleviate the pressure that all of us felt to have an opinion – any opinion. Near the middle of the course, though, the discussions grew more engaging (and increasingly louder) as we persuaded, argued, and explored ideas together. I know that I talked a lot in class, and I often found myself playing the “devil’s advocate”… why, I’m not sure. Maybe because I like arguing adding other perspectives to the dialogue? I appreciated that people were willing to contradict and yet listen to each other, and I tried to listen and understand as well. In the end, I found that discussion is a good way for me to bounce my ideas off others, to process their arguments, and to come away with a better (or different!) understanding of the class or the readings. (Regarding the readings: although I can’t speak for everyone, I personally found the mix of informative writing, scientific text, news articles, and fiction to be well-balanced and helpful. I didn’t feel particularly challenged by any of the material, but that could also be because I’m taking a theory class and anything in comparison to that is fairly light…)
One of the most challenging aspects of the class for me was the fact that I had to keep writing, twice a week, whether I had inspiration and ideas or not. Don’t get me wrong, I like writing—but I didn’t always feel like putting together a paper or writing a Monday reflection. At the same time, it was an area of major growth for me. Being forced to write made me process information differently, and it kept me from being too focused on perfection in my work. Papers have never “scared” me, but they haven’t always been comfortable, so the freedom to write in my own style and interpret text in my own way was wonderful. That’s my favorite part of this class, really—the fact that we were free to pursue what we wanted, and that everyone supported us through it.
I remember not knowing what to expect, but I also know that I got much more than I expected. I feel ready to engage in discussion, to reflect on readings, and to find what interests me in a class—and pursue that! For all of this, I am grateful.