December 17, 2015 - 02:14
Remember:
Re – go back
Member – limbs of the body
When I remember, the limbs of my body are put back in place.
When I remember, I am whole.
When I remember – I go back, and only then, can I move forward.
It’s all already there, I just have to remember
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So many questions I am having, and the answers are in front of me – in the past.
The past is in front of me, I can see it.
Since beginning this process, I have learned to understand that going back does not hinder the process of moving forward.
When we began this process, I was ready.
I was ready to move forward, to learn things that would make me think, to shoot far away from myself. First week, we get an assignment to write a paper about ourselves. That was a hard one to produce and post to the public, but I did it, and I don’t want to look at it right now.
Anne always has the right prompt to get the gears going, to make me question, to make me go back. I chose this class because I had heard of Jody and Anne, and this class’s title straightforward, which I hoped meant the class wouldn’t be – and it wasn’t! or was it? Either way, it was exactly what I needed.
This class has enabled me to make sense of my thoughts, to engage with the space between my mind and my hand – a little more clearly. It has always been difficult for me to articulate strong feelings, and every person in our class helped me to find my words.
I have been orienting myself throughout this process. At first I thought it was just in this school, in our classroom, but every reading has added another layer to my position and how I relate to it all. I experienced the most growth in writing the papers I think – although it was the hardest part, it pushed me in the best of ways; it was where I had the chance to say it all.
Between now and then, I have been guided in some direction, with some magnitude. Having Amaka as my friend, and also as someone to share and develop my thoughts outside of class has been crucial to my growth.
This class gave me more than I ever expected. In learning about the topics we did, I discovered much about how I think, and my understandings have become more clear in this process.
The nature of my mind is to be resistant, and in many ways, I am still resisting much of what we have addressed. I resist the learning of such interconnectivity by existing on earth, by living my life as I do every day, and yet, I agree.
I am left with many questions and I will continue my exploration.
Thank you, Anne.