Self Evaluation and Reflection

I have never taken a class quite like this. I remember my first essay I wrote for Changing Our Stories was about how coming to Bryn Mawr was what felt like a tourist experience. I talked about how my school was in the city and that my classes were not very rigorous or engaging. This ESEM was both of those things. I have learned so much in the last few months from so many different people, and I have read so many thought provoking articles that have inspired a level of learning and understanding that has been both enjoyable and tough.

Self Evaluation and Reflection

When I got the e-mail that noticed me I was enrolled in the Esem: Changing our stories, I was not so exciting but instead a little bit disappointed. I was not a person that care a lot about identity and environment in my daily life and I chose this class was just for widening my perspective and learn new things. However, I found this class so interesting due to the class discussion and readings; the professor and classmates are so intelligent and I learned a lot from them. In the end of this semester, I fall in love with this class.

I remember running into the classroom on my first day, breathless from my climb up the stairs (fun fact: one girl carrying a heavy bag can, if properly motivated, run from the entrance of Taylor up the stairs and to our classroom in ~45 seconds), unsure of what to expect and confronted by a dozen other faces who looked as about as thrilled for this class as I was. As I joined the circle and we waited for the session to begin, my feelings of apprehension grew. It was so quiet. I offered a tentative smile to the person next to me, and she smiled back… and then I ducked my head and looked away, unsure of what to do next. What do you even do in an E-Sem, anyway? I thought, and then, Wow, I feel like even my breathing is too loud.

In our final meeting, I critically reflected on my experience in this 360 from where I was at the beginning of the semester to how I developed both introvertively and extrovertively. I mentioned my initial feelings of being a “outsider” because of my unfamiliarity of the topics and how I learned to catch up. I mentioned my weakness in sharing that comes from my cultural background in which there is even no equivalent translation for the term “identity” and how I tried to improve through learning and interacting with other people in this 360. And for now in this reflection post, I want to complicate some of the things I brought up.

Overall, I missed only one day of class due to unfortunate circumstances. I thoroughly enjoyed attending classes and conferences and found the course to be difficult, but very worth it. I usually have difficulty speaking up in class, but I felt very comfortable with my classmates this semester and I am very proud of how well I was able to participate in discussions. I have no idea how much I was able to contribute to my classmates, but I hope my presence was helpful in some way! I generally found myself spending most of my time listening to the ideas of my classmates, which I found incredibly valuable to my learning experience.

My project is online, here

The event went so differently from what I expected. Being so wrapped up in the last minute changes that I was making to the entire structure of my own project. I missed out on witnessing the powerful strides everyone else was making on theirs. In terms of what I did: my job was to work on my own (two) projects and then planning and leading the socratic discussion. I did end up doing a few extra things, but I think we all did; it was such a group effort overall.

it’s hard for me to name what i did, partially because i feel like this was such a group effort. not to downplay what individuals did, but the groups felt way more cohesive than did the final events in the identity matters cluster. actually… much of my reflections here on the final events come as a comparison to the last 360 event that i did with the identity matters cluster.

anyway, i suppose a quick rundown of my contributions: the website, largely based in using sula and joie’s pieces; the idea of the cafe; planning of the cafe; going off the seat of my pants for the rules and guidelines of the space; a handful of lively conversations with gallery viewers.

i dunno that there’s a visual representation of the website beyond just linking to said website, so that’s here [link]. 

as for what i was “attempting”, here’s an excerpt from the website:

I thought that I might push the work of incarcerated transgender artists and art depicting incarcerated transgender individuals.

This semester, like the past many semesters, has been one of racial turmoil on this campus. Incidents of racial profiling combined with the outward racism of some of our peers on the anonymous forum Yik Yak resulted in an emotional explosion from minority, and specifically black students, on campus. The week of this turmoil, following which the group BMC Coalition was formed to create racial change on campus, there was an SGA meeting in which certain students bravely spoke up about their experiences. They identified instances of surveillance and over-policing of people of color and the relative indifference of many of the white and nonblack people of color on campus in response.