February 23, 2017 - 22:01
Being sick has given me an interesting perspective on literacy. Actually, I've always felt that way. I've been chronically ill with a cocktail of type one diabetes, chronic pain, chronic fatigue, immune issues, anemia, and thyroid issues since I was young. I feel like I know everything about being sick, and in a way that is a type of liteacy. It's a literacy of pin pricks and needles, of thermometers and pills, of blood tests and vomit, of days spent in bed and hundreds of hours of netflix. It is a knowledge of what it is to be "sick." It's a library of phrases like "House bound," "Spoonie," and "Pill Pals." It is a literacy of perscriptions and doctors notes and sessions spent arguing for disability services. It is the argument with the man in the subway who didn't believe I really needed a wheelchair because I could walk a little. It is the times I've had to explain to friends that I can't go outside or that something is too much. It's having to justify why most of the time I'm fine and active and doing things as much as I can. In reality, I'm like that because I'm so scared that one day I won't be able to anymore.
I'm afraid that when I can't do it anymore I won't be able to grow and change. I worry that my literacy ends at sickness. I hate that idea. It keeps me awake at night. Right now, I'm just sick because I'm sick. It's because everyone on campus is sick, and that's funny because they're having some of what I have, and they're sharing the literacy I know.
I don't hate being sick. Sometimes, I thank it for allowing me to be who I am. It's part of me, but it's also something I gained and learned. Anything can be helpful. Pain fuels creativity. Pain makes you stronger and sometimes weaker, but even being weak is simply a challenge to think differently. Thinking differently doesn't make you wrong. It just makes you a pioneer; a pioneer with a limp, but still a pioneer.