Amy Ma's blog

Haha, Everglade, r u taking a picture of me? 么么哒！

I remember the very first time when I was in Philly, it was snowing very heavily, and I wrote that in my first paper for ESEM. I am very happy that the last trip ends in snow too. Starting with snow and ends with snow, that is lovely. I live in the south of China, I have seen snow in my hometown twice for eighteen years, and every time makes me scream. I didn't really have any plans for the last trip, so I ended up lingering around on the streets. I don't know why but snow gives me a feeling of warm. All is covered in white, and there are Christmas lights in many stores. It is like new year. I grabbed some snow and tried to make snow ball, but I didn't wear gloves, so I gave it up. I took a lot of photos till my hands were frozen. I would say it was really a tough walking, but I like it. When it snows, I always want to tell some one else it snows. It is snowing now:) 

 “Would you please turn on the light?” That’s what I first thought when looking at this painting, because the general appearance of this painting is very dark. The left side is darker than the right side, so dark that you can clearly see the tiny cracks on the painting due to it is very old. A woman is bending her back, drawing water from the urn. The light part on her apron makes her apron adds some three-dimension effect, and also makes it seem so heavy. The loose clothe and the creases on it make her clothes seem worn. The white cloth on her head covers her eyes, but it seems that she is looking at the bucket on the floor, tiredly. The light comes from the open door. There stands a woman, with something in her hand. I couldn’t see it clearly. I stepped back, tiptoed, stepped forward, and crouched: no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get what is in her hand. It seems long, probably a broom. There is a little child next to her. Her fingers are thick— she probably do a lot of chores every day. She looks like a servant, not hostess of a poor family, but servant, because the woman at the door dresses the same as her. Everything looks daily: the brooms, the buckets, even the women. Everything seems routine: the women may do it repeatedly, every day.

“Would you please turn on the light?” That’s what I first thought when looking at this painting, because the general appearance of this painting is very dark. The left side is darker than the right side, so dark that you can clearly see the tiny cracks on the painting due to it is very old. A woman is bending her back, drawing water from the urn. The light part on her apron makes her apron adds some three-dimension effect, and also makes it seem so heavy. The loose clothe and the creases on it make her clothes seem worn. The white cloth on her head covers her eyes, but it seems that she is looking at the bucket on the floor, tiredly. The light comes from the open door. There stands a woman, with something in her hand. I couldn’t see it clearly. I stepped back, tiptoed, stepped forward, and crouched: no matter what I did, I just couldn’t get what is in her hand. It seems long, probably a broom. There is a little child next to her. Her fingers are thick— she probably do a lot of chores every day. She looks like a servant, not hostess of a poor family, but servant, because the woman at the door dresses the same as her. Everything looks daily: the brooms, the buckets, even the women. Everything seems routine: the women may do it repeatedly, every day.

The 17 Boarders was a very interesting show. It is very impressive that the man just used several simple things a desk, a chair, a suitcase, a cup, a piece of chalk and lights to present these different countries, even to let audience to see his show in different view( when he lied on the floor pretending to be sitting). There were several scenes that reminded me of my own experiences, and I started thinking about my feelings when I was doing the same thing as he was doing, and therefore missed a few things in that show. Also, it raised a question: if by crossing boarders there are actually no difference, then what is the meaning of boarder? Meanwhile if there is a difference between two places, should there be a boarder?

We are somewhat stick to music. The night before farewell, my friends and I sang on a street near Funan River. It was almost eleven in the evening, but still lots of people passed by, because it was Saturday.  One of my friends said, “Why don’t we sing?” “Shall we?”　“Why not? We are going to different places tomorrow, and we can’t see each other until next summer.” “Next Summer” That was the phrase that touched me.  Next summer is way too far. Too far. Then we began to sing. Loudly. Crazily. Passionately. Sadly. Happily. That moment, all I saw were my friends’ faces, and the light across the river. I shouted out, "If there is world where things never change, where people never say goodbye and never die." It is a little bit strange to say, I didn’t see any one passing by. All I did was singing, as loudly as I can. The feeling was mixed. Some sadness some happiness. After that, I felt sense of release, and I finally started to think about the people around.

Walls, dark color, looks like a dungeon, in a place which is a little bit isolated, there is Easter State Penitentiary. The auditory tour was saying ESP is different because it keeps each inmate alone, and let them reflect on themselves, and reform. It sounds like ESP is the saver of these souls. But walking in it, I did not find it a different prison. I would say it is a better decorated prison-it is like a dungeon from a sci-fi movie. Maybe it is better than the old prisons in the aspects of cleanliness, structure, and order. However, the dark, narrow and depressive cells may not be the best place to for penitents to contemplate or to reform.  Staying there for a couple of minutes, I thought about some random stuff. I thought about what I was going to do next, and how we got here. I thought about the voices in the auditory tour. I thought about Zadie Smith because we were going to revise the paper about NW, and about how I would feel in this cell etc. But eventually, the feeling went to bore, and all I wanted to do was go out. Not to mention imagining myself an inmate who has to be here for years without communicating with anyone. How would these inmates react?

Eastern State was an eerie place, not necessarily having the effects on its prisoners it hoped to.This doesn’t work well-most of prisoners have no ability to read and spend their time (which is what they got) in trying to communicate with their neighbors. Eastern State Penitatiary seemed more like a place to cause someone to go mad rather than teach them to reflect I see a complete disregard for the humanity of the prisoners.Communication can’t be stopped.Small sense of satisfaction that it failed because of its unrealistic goals.

“Flawed from the start.”

“ESP is a decaying island that stands as a reminder of the suffering it caused.”

“I see this place the same way I saw it years ago: broken, cold, and useless.”

“Far more strict and penalizing than how it is now. Happy it doesn’t exist anymore.”

“Small sense of satisfaction that it failed because of its unrealistic goals.”

“It was not a luxury to live in it, to be confined to your thoughts.”

“Gone are the tiny insanity-inspiring chambers, replaced by shared-chambers capable of providing a life to their inhabitants.”

“The endless and repeating days are terrible.”

“But sitting here for 5 years, isolated, dark, lonely, I really want real life.”

“These wall that used to be crisp white are falling down, the whole structure of the building is decaying. It has all passed.”

“For prisoners inside, it’s not much different: no freedom, isolated, frustrating, desperate and somehow made the lonely people more aggressive.”

“It is very much the same; It is broken and not useful.”

“It is ridiculous and useless. Why are these visitors visiting?”

If I get any words wrong, can you comment to it so that every one else can see?:)

Co-authored  with Yancy

How do people become friends? It occurs to me (Amy) that I don’t intentionally make friends, but just become friends with certain people after living, studying or doing other things together for a while. It is one personality that chooses another personality. So choosing friends is actually a subconscious process. The principle of making friends is “Let it be.” If two are meant to be together, they will finally be together. From NW, it is obvious that Leah and Keisha are very good friends from childhood to adolescence, but their bond became weaker as they grew older. Is it because of they are different initially or they become different as they grow up? How does their relationship change during time? Is it because of age? Is it because of different experience?

“In childhood, friendships are often based on the sharing of toys, and the enjoyment received from performing activities together.”(Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship) Leah Hanwell was a person willing and available to do a variety of things that Keisha Blake was willing and available to do.(NW. Zadie Smith 209) That is how they become friends initially. Children have less concern of attitudes and values, and care more about if they can play together.