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Patriarchy and feminism rely on sex, gender and power. Even as the definitions of sex, gender and power change, patriarchy is still the power of one sex over others, and feminism is still a fight for equality and the end of that power. The words and are bound together. What could happen to the system of oppression and the force trying to fight that oppression if their definitions were stripped away? If sex and gender were pushed to the background of society and the subconscious, if mentally, a switch was flicked across the globe and gender was recognized only as a self-chosen identity, there could be two ways of interpreting the new, unbound patriarchy and feminism. Either patriarchy would represent all oppression and feminism all efforts to equalize people, or those two ideas, currently so strong, would have no existence in a world freed from gender and sex, and the power defined by them.

Since there is no global switch that can be turned on or off, a more realistic occurrence would be a movement involving policy and ideological change that accepted that sex is not a category that can be used in power structures to dominate. The problem is that practically, if the equality of all sexes was recognized legally, efforts to alleviate discrimination that are based on the existing inequality in society would become invalid. In order to fix problems involving discrimination by gender, one must work within the system, sacrificing the idealistic acknowledgement of equality, or the unbinding of gender.

            It took me a while to really understand the concept of “feminism unbound,” and alas I am sure there is still much more to learn and understand about it. What does it mean to unbind feminism? In the simplest sense, “feminism unbound” is feminism after we have problematized the ideas of sex and gender, after we have realized how difficult it is to define the category “women,” after we have acknowledged that sexism affects everyone in infinite ways and that feminism is not a movement for women, but for humanity. There are many places one can look to find and promote feminism unbound, but I would like to focus in on one particular place: the theater.

For years, one of feminism’s great quests within pop culture has been the call for stronger female leads – for women who have a life of crime-fighting or crime-perpetrating or otherwise some sort of death-defying singular agency. It’s evidenced in the current trend of fiction-derived films released – Catching Fire gives us Katniss Everdeen, hellbent on destroying the oppressive system that forces her to kill again, and Thor 2 in turn supplies Lady Sif, ruthless and deemed by Thor himself as stronger than most of the male warriors. Of these, I chose to see neither – they’ll be on DVD someday, I can save myself the movie ticket now and watch it later. No, when I left campus to spend some time with a friend before buckling down to work, we instead went to see a movie that had been causing me internal conflict since its inception: Frozen. I braced myself for the worst, the complete elimination of the original tale’s feminist qualities for the sake of a traditional Disney template. When I left the theatre, however, I found myself pleasantly surprised, as well as questioning what comprised a female character. I entered the theatre wishing for a protagonist who would gladly take up the burden of a fight without necessitating any outside assistance, accepting the responsibility as her own, and I still thank the directors for taking the opposite direction.

I am really intrigued by this idea of "unbinding" things. It allows everyone to trully think critially about everything in a new light. It allows me to pose new questions and form new ideas. When I first began thinking about parenting unbound I used Daddy Day Care the movie as an example/an example to get me thinking about what it meant to "unbind" a concept. I decided to dig deeper into that idea using Daddy Day Care as an example: 

Parenting Unbound (economics)

In our society we have encouraged women to stay at home while men work. Are women staying at home because they truly are the best-fit parent to do so or is it solely because of their gender? Through a parenting unbound lens we are able to look past a woman and a man and think critically about roles imparted on both genders. Women shouldn’t stay at home solely because they are mothers but rather because it’s the most economically sensible decision. If a man stays home with his child it shouldn’t be frowned upon but rather encouraged if it is the most sensible decision. We need to encourage women to do more than be house wives but to begin careers and encourage men to put their families first. Due to the fact that we have been so fixated on gender and sex when it comes to parenting, we judge and sneer at households that aren’t necessarily “conventional.” Thus, in order to discontinue the seeds of patriarchy we must begin to reform the dynamics of parenting.

       Is it possible to view parenting without a mommy and daddy but rather two loving parents or one loving parent that refuses to impart sexist ideals onto their children? Some may say it’s impossible but I force you to take a step back and think critically about parenting in a new light that doesn’t ignore gender and sex when it comes to parenting but not make it our main focus. Parenting Unbound attempts to do so. Parenting Unbound focuses on not just the rights of women and gender expectations but looking at the bigger picture that comes along with parenting. It strips parenting of labels and attempts to view parenting in a pragmatic way that isn’t a battle between the sexes but rather using parenting as a catalyst to begin the stages of ending patriarchy.  The patriarchy has affected parenting styles and the way children are viewed in our society; as property. If we begin to start viewing parenting differently, not as a job for one gender over the other but a learning experience with pure and genuine love we can slowly but surely end sexism and the patriarchy that is still very present in our society today. Parenting Unbound forces us to strip parenting of norms and expectations and for every aspect permanently ask: how can parenting be different or critiqued if we look past there being a mother and father role but rather two loving parents providing support and guidance?

What is it to be a woman? Some say it’s biological, others say it’s social, or a combination of the two culminating into an entity of sensitively nurturing, docile domesticity. But what might it look like to not be restrained to such narrowing definitions of womanhood? To unbind the codex of the female essence? Let us for a moment erase woman, not her being or her individual self, but the attributes assigned to her as a woman. She is no longer a she, but a human; uncategorized and unbound by societies stereotypes of how this being should act and present themselves. And in order to do this effectively, as to eliminate the risk of having this newly freed group re-packaged only under another name, we must eliminate the ideology of what it means to be a man. Now there is no man and no woman, just a spectrum of diverse creatures.

..I've searched and searched for news that Elaine Bartlett has returned to prison, as Jessica brought up. Happily, I've found nothing to suggest that that has happened. Given that Dovetta was passionate about Elaine's story being hers, this gives me a little ounce of hope that she will make it out for good, too. Dovetta's impending release hung over our small group conversation today. We said it would be hard. We knew that it would be almost impossible. She will have to stay away from her husband of 21 years, a drug dealer, and her 6 kids, who also dabble in drugs. She will have to make meetings, find work, find herself, keep herself, follow her dreams. She wants to counsel addicts, write a book, stay clean, never come back. I assured Dovetta that I would be one of her first readers and that I hoped to read her book with another class of incarcerated women one day. The smile she gave me after hearing that single-handedly convinced me that I wanted, NEEDED to continue this work next semester. But now that I'm back home and I've lost sight of Dovetta, I've lost sight of my hope for her, too. We've been taught to blame the institution, the forces that be, that keep these women down. And in fact, we've made it our goal to teach them that, too. But does this way of thinking make it harder for us to hope, too? I can't keep out the doubt. The doubt that says Dovetta won't make it because of the forces pushing against her.

Beginning Chant:

I am

(I am)

A Reader

(A Reader)

What I have to Say

(What I have to Say)

Is Worth Listening to

(Is Worth Listening to)

What I Think

(What I Think)

What I Feel

(What I Feel)

Matters

(Matters)

Our Chant (written collaboratively with Riverside Women):

I am

Grateful

I am

Reflective

I am

Thoughtful

I am

Strong

I am

A Prisoner

I am

Stronger

And Smarter

Then I think I am

I am

Compassionate

I am wondering

If being Responsible

Means lowering your Expectations

I am

Filled with Questions

I am

Happy

Found this and HAD to share:

GROUPED OUT
"Please make these groups interesting, 'cause I am grouped out!"
— Elaine Bartlett, Bedford Hills prison, September 1997

I'VE BEEN
CHAINED UP / BANGED UP / FELT UP
ROUGHED UP / STUCK UP / HELD UP
NOW I'M
LOCKED UP.
I HAVE
PUT UP / SHUT UP
SUCKED UP / TALKED UP
NOW I'M
MESSED UP —
IT'S SO
FUCKED UP.
THEY MAKE ME
STRAP IN / WALK IN / SIT IN
TUNE IN / MOVE IN / FIT IN
I FEEL
PINNED IN.
THEN SOMEONE
GETS IN / PUSHES IN
COMES IN / PULLS IN
WANTS TO
BLEND IN —
THEY'VE NEVER
BEEN IN.
SO I'M
TURNED OFF / RIPPED OFF / SHUT OFF
CUT OFF / PISSED OFF / FLUFFED OFF
ALL YOU'ALL SHOULD
FUCK OFF!
CAUSE I'M
CLEANED OUT / WASHED OUT / SQUEEZED OUT
THROWN OUT / GROSSED OUT / PASSED OUT
READY TO
SHOUT OUT
CAUSE I'M
GROUPED OUT!
PEACE OUT!

Found here:

http://www.lifeontheoutside.com/poem.html