Critical Feminist Studies 2013

When I first stepped onto Bryn Mawr’s campus in August I knew that at that moment I stepped into a different world than the one I left behind ten hours ago in North Carolina. The conversations I participated in this class certainly demonstrated this fact. I considered myself a feminist in high school because I was one of the only ones to stand up to people who said sexist comments. But, in the discussions in this class I found myself woefully uneducated on feminism in general. I found that many of my classmates seemed to have more knowledge about this subject and I think that is why I stayed silent in the beginning. I did not know what to say to some of your questions because I had never encountered or had to ask myself those questions before. I think that I was able to answer some of your questions for you, and for myself, more fully on Serendip, which after we talked, became a way for me to figure out my thoughts that I had not been able to articulate in class. As the class continued, however, I think that I did talk in class more. I certainly was not one of the most talkative people in class, but I felt like I was able to contribute. I also thought that I was able to articulate myself better in small groups than in the big group. Because we sometimes just worked in small groups I think that my voice came out more and I was able to think through my thoughts more.

When I first started posting, I felt inadequate in my knowledge of queer theory and I felt that my voice could not be validated but I grew to realize that I based a lot of my work on personal experiences and that was my theory. I was studying and reading things that I was living, so while I may not have been acquainted with the academic references to things, I definitely felt and lived them every day. This gave me the confidence to find and be secure in myself. I stopped being so timid and apprehensive about my work, and instead felt confident in my thoughts and ideas since the evidence came from my life. So, I feel that this class acted as the medium through which I gained access to my own voice and harbored confidence in it.

For me, this course chartered some serious unexpected territory, in doing so it broke some normative structures. As structures such as class and time were queered and cripped, so was I. As a result in many ways I excelled (explored) myself in many ways floundered (everything was late).  It is extraordinarily frustrating to see that the exceptional amount of reflection-- written and unwritten-- did not translate onto this virtual space throughout the semester. I recognize that this forum has been (en)abling for so many of my classmates who struggled in the classroom to share but for me Serendip was profoundly disabling. 

I do not want to critique whether or not Beyoncé Knowles-Carter is a feminist or not.  As we have discussed in class “Feminism/Feminist” is a self-identifying term that too subjective due to the varied lived experiences and temporalities, in which women are stratified.  I wanted to write this paper given the exponential emergence of dialogues and opinions ((un-) expressed) within multiple spheres of feminist discourse, specifically between white feminists and black feminists, as well as intraracial dialogues within the black feminist community.  When I began to do my research I knew that I wanted to focus on the song “***Flawless”, IT IS MY FAVORITE SONG/VIDEO, but I also wanted to explore Beyoncé’s using Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TEDxEuston talk: “We Should All Be Feminists” on the track.  My favorite part about the song is the juxtaposition of the three different narratives: child/adolescent Beyoncé~ feminist mantra-festo~ Queen B, and her use of “criping time” by way of her somewhat cyclical, fragmented, segregated way of story telling: “I Woke Up Like This… Flawless”. 

The Olympics: Breaking the Gender Binary?

Imagine training your entire life for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: competing for your country in international competitions. You sweat, you grind through all of the workouts, you give up your life for this one amazing experience, you win gold, you stand before thousands of cheering fans, and see your dreams come true. A week later you are told that the gold medal you just won may be taken away because you are not a woman. This is exactly what happened to Caster Semenya after winning the 800-meter world championships in 2009. The International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) wanted to disqualify Semenya because they found that she does not have a uterus or ovaries and instead she has internal testes. Because of the testes, she produces three times the amount of testosterone as the average female, giving her an advantage because testosterone has “performance-enhancing effects, particularly on strength, power, and speed” ("IOC Regulations on Female Hyperandrogenism"). Caster Semenya grew up as a girl, never suspecting that she was any different than the any other girl. After going through a humiliating process where reporters questioned her potential motives for attempting to disguise her differences and people all over the world discussed her personal information, she was cleared and she qualified for the 2012 Olympics.

When Kelly and I were discussing our presentation, we came up with an array of things that have totally impacted our relationship, or have had an overall greater influence on our lives. So we decided that we couldn’t be the only people that have enjoyed the class, missed an opportunity to give praise/thanks, want to ask a question, or just share your thoughts with each other. 

Also taking notes from our mid-course evaluation, and conversations about silence and speaking we wanted to find a way to hold a conversation that was “accessible”.  We both felt that after the mid-course evaluation not only, allowed for a productive conversation, but also illuminated the different ways and mediums we can use to speak.  

We decided to create FEMANOTES, inspired by the a posse plus retreat exercise, which are in order to continue our conversation, but specifically to celebrate one another.  They are meant to be anonymous, you can specifically address individuals or the entire class with questions, comments, things you appreciated, exercises you liked, things that can be worked on.  PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING. 

I have always been interested in feminism but I realize now that I had no idea about what feminism was until this class. It’s odd to look back at the first couple of weeks and remember how confused and nervous I was about learning new terms. Things like the gender binary and intersectionality.  Looking back at my old writings I think that I am more honest and truthful about what I believe in my posts now. I was very worried the first couple of weeks about staying on topic and I used to get very nervous about that. After the discussion about not being afraid to speak or share our opinions that the class had during the middle of the semester I tried to be more open and honest with my writing and thoughts. I did not expect that I would go on such a personal journey during this class and it has been a very rewarding experience.

Licia Ronzulli is an Italian member of the European Parliament; however, she is more often recognized as the “poster child for working mothers everywhere” (Peck). Since one month after her daughter’s birth, Ronzulli has been utilizing the flexible, family-friendly rules that allow parents to bring their children to work at the European Parliament (see photo right). To some, Mrs. Ronzulli exemplifies a bold “women can have it all” position in the “Mommy Wars”, a term that refers to the ongoing battle between “working moms” and “stay at home mothers”. She is indeed praised for her unusual balance between working and caring for her child. But why is this considered such an achievement?

Giving up a career to work in the household presumably signals familial economic instability. Unfortunately, the ability to maintain and balance the jobs as both a successful parent and a source of income is considered an unrealistic dream. Society assumes that any stay-at-home parent has either made the mistake of sacrificing their career or is somehow incompetent and only able to perform household and caretaking duties. Due to this misconstrued stigma, the familial duty is greatly dismissed, unappreciated, and undervalued by our national community; however it is obviously deemed essential to sustain a family.

Somewhere between high school and college, I lost my voice.

Sitting the classroom circle, the same question is constantly circling and circling around my head: why, after all these meetings, books, essay, movies, tests, am I still silent? How can I come back to my room and excitedly recount what was discussed in class to my roommate, when I’ve left class without uttering a word? How is my eagerness to learn and to learn from the others in my classes untranslatable in my failure to externalize my thoughts?

Why is my silence such a hindrance?

Somehow in my head I’ve myself small, retreating inwards and renouncing any space my voice could take up in the conversations in class. Not just in this class, but all of them. Midway through my ESem class, I found myself in a conference with my ESem professor, assessing my participation in class. I was voicing regrets that I hadn’t contributed more to the discussion, for I was constantly hesitant to enter my perspective into the forefront of critical interpretation of one of the texts we’d read in class. My professor too wondered why my voice had waned to silence since the start of class, when I would participate regularly.

Why hadn’t I spoken more? Had I chose silence? Or had I fallen into comfortable shyness?