Ayla Difraction

I like the idea of diffraction because I gladly think of myself as a pattern of slits.  I absorb some of the knowledge that is shone my way, I reflect some back, and I even change some of it and relay it on.

In the Beginning there was only darkness...

When I joined this course, it was to fulfill a requirement.  I’m a Junior aspiring to be a veterinarian and so I looked at the requirements for applying to Veterinary School, realized I needed another English course, and chose one that was recommended by another student.  Even before the semester began, people asked me if I was “excited” about the classes I was taking in the fall.  I just laughed, “I have to take some requirements.  Nothing I’m taking is anything that I ‘chose’ to take of my own free will.”  (Yes, I was even dramatic before this course).  I steeled and readied myself, complained a bit, and felt bad for myself.  I was consoled by the thought that I was going to be studying the evolution of the genre.  This appealed to me because evolution is traditionally a scientific theory, and I like the logic and rationality of science.  Of course, I didn’t get what I expected.

He created an expanse to separate the waters and called it “sky”...

The first reading we were assigned was something that I fell in love with for no apparent reason.  I sighted a neon bouey while I was treading the waters.  If there was a bouey in the water then there must be a surface to the water.  So I surfaced excitedly to peek my head above my prejudice thoughts.  We read (and met) Margaret Price, digital theses, blogs, a story about Anne, and Understanding Comics.  I wanted to go to class to hear what everyone wanted to say that day.  I spent more time than was required reading everyone’s posts.  I was like a dolphin jumping out of the water for fun to experience that sky.  I wrote my first essay excitedly, and I took care in learning about my topic.  My topic wasn’t something I cared deeply about, and so my paper ended up being mediocre work.

He created the dry ground and gathered the waters calling the dry ground “land” and the waters “sea”...

Land?  A place to walk and think?  This was the time when going to this class was one of my favorite things.  It was a comfortable place and a mind-stretching place.  Soon I began fidgeting in my chair to talk in class.  I read the assigned readings early, and I tried to explore them in my own capacity before bringing them to class.  I thought about our class often, and I talked about what we said in class to my friends and family.  A lot of the time outside of class, I would strolling around thinking about things that were said.  It was at this time that I felt most like a humanist.  I wrote my second paper drawing from my own experiences.  I liked the message in the paper, but I know it was more of an incomplete thought than a polished essay.  I was fine with that.

He created every living creature of the seas and every winged bird of the sky.  He filled the Earth with animals...

I listened more to what my peers were saying.  I carefully considered how my peers thought differently than me, and what that meant in terms of what I believed.  I feel that I quieted down in class during this time.  When I did voice an opinion, whether I showed it or not, I didn’t really understand what I thought.  It began to feel crowded on the land and in the sea, and I think I felt a little devastated.  I began to push back others’ opinions pretty hard.  I just wanted to have my own.  I was glad that we didn’t have a paper due until late April.  In the third paper, I wrote about myself again, but in the context of a larger audience (arguing that everyone learns more about themselves through non-fiction than fiction).  This was my favorite paper because it was a product of themes I had been mulling for a while.

When the work was finished, He rested and blessed the day.

My journey this semester was learning about myself and what I value in the academic world.  I value a good conversation and someone listening to what I care about.  I value talking about big questions and comforting words along with those questions, and I value wisdom and simplicity.  I appreciate understanding and bending the rules.  I wouldn’t say that I know a whole lot, but I would claim that I learned a good deal about the importance of telling stories and how we learn from stories.  I also learned that I’m personally challenged in moving from the story I read to the real world.  I haven’t decided if this is a limitation or not.  This was included in my final paper.

My writing evolved from writing because I was assigned something and writing because I wanted to work through an idea.  This was very new to me, and I enjoyed it very much (even though it was difficult at times).