Self Evaluation and Reflection

a timeline

(part one: before fall break)

how is the 360 going? my friend asks me

i should not be taking this class i respond

Where I was when we began: I was excited and hopeful at the beginning of this semester. I thought that a 360 would be a great way to talk about Blackness and Whiteness because we’d get so many different opportunities to talk to one another and also be exposed to lots of new information. Though we encountered struggle early on in the semester I was still excited to keep learning with everyone, and struggle is to be expected when we’re talking about race in a racist institution.

Where I am now: I’m exhausted, angry, sad, frustrated, still learning… Feeling very motivated to do personal and professional anti-racism work. Reflection is really important to me right now, but also I need some time and distance away from campus.

Taking the 360 Poetics and Politics of Race 360 this past semester has been incredibly challenging for me. I came in with the intention to learn theory and gain curatorial skills. I was excited to finally get the chance to explore the intersections of race, art, education, and literature. However, looking back I feel as though my excitement for the course has dwindled down and my expectations were not met. From the first week, I knew that it wasn’t going to be an easy road. However, everyone was telling me that this opportunity was amazing and that I would be a crazy to give it up so easily.

Dear Anne,

Dear Jody,

Before we began this 360, I had considered taking this semester off for mental health reasons. My health had gotten progressively worse over the summer and I had a few real conversations about *not going to school* but I also felt a responsibility to be present for this cluster. After having to apply and having been accepted to the program, I felt like there was a reserved seat for me in this cluster and that I should rise to meet expectations. It also felt very necessary for me to spend a substantial time thinking about race, since I spent a good part of my summer trying to explain how it feels to live in my body to white people.

Where you were when we began this 360° process?

Nervous, excited. I was eager to push myself out of my comfort zone both as a student and a human. I knew I needed to learn more about race - I wanted to really delve into theory and history and look at it from a lot of complex angles. I wanted to challenge the comfort I've been afforded due to my whiteness. I wanted to work harder than I've ever worked and learn as much as possible. I had also just come from CDA (Community Diversity Assistant) training and was eager to jump into the academic aspect of that work.

Where you are now, and what’s been happening in between?

Where was I?

Beginning this semester I felt mobilized and hungry. I came out of a summer research fellowship with the confidence that I could make room for race in the academy (this is so loaded and overzealous but still). As the semester progressed it felt more and more difficult to relocate that initial hunger….

Where am I?

I’m looking forward to next semester.

Between?

Dear Jody,

Dear Jody,