Blogs

One of the most difficult things about coming to Bryn Mawr was leaving behind my five year old Golden Retriever, Phoebe, with whom I share a very strong bond.  I adopted her when she was nearing eight weeks old from North Shore Animal League after what felt like a lifetime of begging my mother to adopt a dog.  Growing up in the city (where our apartment did not allow dogs) my mother actually banned me from visiting pet shops in fear that I would break into a temper tantrum while demanding a dog.  So, five years ago when my mother announced we were moving to our house in Long Island, the first thing that came to mind was that we would finally be able to get a dog.  Before we had even finished unpacking or settling in we had adopted Phoebe.  My high expectations of finally becoming a dog owner did not dissapoint.  Phoebe and I have been nearly inseparable since. 

When contemplating the image I wanted for my avatar the first thing I knew beyond a doubt was that it was not going to be a picture of myself. I hate pictures, in fact I resist them at all costs. If by some misfortune I find myself the subject of one I never know what to do, do I smile? teeth or no teeth? Is my hair alright? where do my hands go? should I stand closer to this person next to me? Do I look sufficiently happy? Do I pass as male? I have discovered, especially in college, that in an age obsessed with capturing "moments" my aversion to pictures is not always practical. I mean it didn't happen if you can't see it on facebook, right? But I digress. The image I chose instead I did so because it reminds me of a quote I have forever captured on my body: luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. For me, this avatar and the tatoo it accompanies are a constant reminder that our bodies--the physical matter-- are just vessels for the light that is inherent in us all. It is through this idea that I have come to terms with a lot of internal and external revulsion-- and the violence that can accompany such revulsion--that has been associated with my body and bodies like mine.

I used to have a tee-shirt with the slogan “Night Owl Mystery Book Shop” on it. When the tee shirt got to small for me, I decorated my binder with it. I am now using that binder for this class, so the words “night owl” have been in the back of my mind lately. I chose my name to be “nightowl” because it reminds me of the school mascot and idealizes the time I will spend here in the libraries late at night. It is also nostalgic for my love of Harry Potter, which then reminds me of how much Bryn Mawr looks like Hogwarts. 

My profile picture is of Cat Stevens with cats. The picture satisfies some sort of primal desire in me that wishes to see things organized by categories. I am going to listen to his music whenever I am feeling a bit down this semester. 

I miss the snuggles and the cold nose waking me up from afternoon naps. I miss his whining when bored, and his excitement when stimulated. I miss the constant sound of his snoring (yes, even when he was awake). I miss my dog.

My avatar is a picture of Oscar (also called "beast", "dog", and "93-pounder"), whom I've had for about three years now. About four years ago, my home was broken into. It led to horrible feelings of insecurity, so we ended up adopting a twenty-pound dog from our neighborhood shelter. Although I was scared of dogs at the time, he and I soon bonded so closely that I'm not even scared of his now 93-pound self. 

I love this animal, so I chose to make my avatar a picture of him. This particular picture was taken when I returned from a study-break, only to find that he had taken my seat. As he stared up at me intently, probably wondering "when do I get to eat again", I was struck with the sudden urge to snuggle-study, which I soon found greatly decreased productivity, but helped stress levels. 

I don't even remember how I lived without a dog for my whole life, and I keep expecting him to push my hand with his nose, silently pleading for a scratch. I look forward to skyping with him, and to fall break, when I will get a snuggle-fix for the next few months. 

I guess you could say I'm feeling slightly homesick? 

I'm one of those people who is pretty much silent until you get to know them, and then I won't shut up.  Because of this I figured I'd start out with a really simple username and, if I want to later, I'll change it. I've lived in Pennsylvania my whole life. For the last 15 years I have lived in a small agricultural town called Unionville.  There are many farms all over and a few years ago one of the fields near my house was full of sunflowers.  I am really interested in nature photography and I went to take some pictures when I found this birdhouse on which  someone had drawn a heart. I love Unionville and felt that the birdhouse summed up my feelings for my quirky home town perfectly.  Of all the pictures I took that day this is, by far, my favorite.

As my friends love to point out, I talk about my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona, well, a lot. It was especially intense when I first arrived at Bryn Mawr as a frosh last year, but I was honestly taken aback when this was first pointed out. You see, I spent most of my time in high school working with the express purpose of getting out of "this place", so the idea that I might actually miss it catapulted me into a sort of mini-identity crisis (no matter how melodramatic that sounds). I had never felt at home in Arizona, differing greatly from the majority of my friends on ideological issues, and I thought of going to a liberal-minded college as my ticket out of what sometimes seems like the breeding ground for unstable racist bigots. Once I realized this foreign longing, however, I began to see my state in a new light. I had held so much resentment toward what are merely ideas, and now I am starting to realize that I can love Arizona for its parts, not necessarily as a whole. This picture highlights that idea: I care deeply for and about components of Arizona, and am trying to focus on them. I don’t mean to suggest that I am ignoring the pieces that infuriate me (which is still a good chunk), but this newfound acceptance actually motivates me to fight back for my state, instead of running away.

Hi everyone! The image I've chosen to be my Avatar is the rose from The Beauty and the Beast. Originally I meant this to illustrate the 'Rose' in my username, and what better image to use then one from my favorite Disney movie? When I was little I used to look up to Belle because, to me, she was the most relatable Disney princess. I admired her because she is intelligent, kind-hearted, loves reading, and had such a close, loving relationship with her father. And she doesn't let her first impression of Beast overshadow their relationship; with an open mind she takes the time to see him for who is truly is. These traits are a part of the person am I today thanks to a feminine hero of my past. 

Neither of my grandmothers bakes. Instead, one takes me to see paintings of pies. When I visit her in California, we often see the painting that I've made into my avatar, and, when we're apart, she sends me letters on stationary with it printed on the front. Neither of us really understands this painting, but we still look at it. We talk about food and family, and who won last night's dominoes game, but not, of course, the piece of art right in front of us. The conversation swirls on because of the painting but not about it, both in person and on paper, just as I inherited my grandmother's handwriting by explicitly copying it, but also, silently, the idea of what my role in society is.

I'll be the first to point out that, yes, I am overly pregnant in my avatar. But don't worry, I don't actually have a child stowed away in my dorm room. This picture is of me trying on a costume for the one act play that I directed and acted in in the spring of my senior year. Though it may not be the most accurate picture of me (or how I would proportionally look if I was actually pregant), it is one of my favorites. Every time I see it, I'm reminded of how absolutely happy I was for those few months.

My username is not as interesting-- it's just the nickname those closest to me use with my last name added on. (I had to have my last name because, to most people from my high school, I'm a "two name person". Almost never would you hear me being referred to as simply 'Natalie'. It was 'Natalie Schall', or I would think they were talking to a different Natalie.)