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"lesbianism is one way to escape the subjugating bonds that have bound heterosexual love in the past"

I don't identify as queer (sexual orientation) and genderqueer (gender identity) in order escape any subjugating bonds, and in fact my being queer places bonds of subjugation on me which a straight woman would not bear. Radical lesbian feminism is just one highly politicized thread of lesbianism, but it seems like you're taking it as representative of lesbian thought. I'm not a lesbian, and I don't pretend to speak for lesbians, all of them or any part of them, but you do seem to be evoking a notion that while still around is kind of old school and most of all you seem to be simplifying what lesbianism is and why people identify as lesbians. (Admittedly, I am always biased against simplifications and prefer complications, fragmentations, complexities, ambiguities.)

Though I do understand your need for models that are both heterosexual and feminist, and would myself be extremely interested in Actually, from what I recall from The Heidi Chronicles from when it was performed at my high school, that play might provide you with that kind of model. At any rate, Heidi is straight. I think. It's been a while ...

But I think that the most feminist thing a person can do is to figure out what ze wants, and then to do it (without interfering too much with others' attempts to do the same). Alright, so maybe sometimes I do make things simpler ; ) Which proves my point?