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            I remember when I found out that I would have the privilege of taking class, I was sitting at my desk in my room at home that faces out my window overlooking a giant oak tree, I was ecstatic, it was my “first choice” even though we were told not to be too attached to just one. The lottery worked out in my favor, and I feel it is only fitting that I am sitting at that same desk to write my final paper. Ending where I began, only now a person who has grown and changed, both as an individual and a writer.  This class helped my to realize that everyone’s thoughts and opinions, including my own, are both valid and mind opening. To me the important and deep discussions, both academic and playful, were the aspects of this class that taught me the most.

            I came to college thinking I knew how to write a good paper, but this was only because I knew how to follow a formula. The same went for discussing a reading. I thought that I knew how to interpret a reading and “go deeper” by just asking a few questions to find its deeper meaning, however through these class discussions I have learned that so much more can be learned from a paper beyond “how did the author display these ideas to make them convincing to the audience?” and that the real learning comes from the peers around me, and the differences in how each of us interpreted the works.

            I noticed early on that the class discussions we were having would often address things that the author had never touched on, or that we would move the conversations onto topics completely unrelated to our original questions, yet everything that was said was important. I saw that as the discussions would progress I would see my own thoughts changing and developing into clearer and more complete opinions. These experiences in deep class discussions were invaluable. I also believe that these were the most deeply playful aspects of the class, were I think we were all playing off of one another, jumping deeper and deeper into an idea, almost playing a game of wanting to connect each comment together to create an understanding of the topic at hand.

            I often found that although each person in my class was helpful to me, that early on we were all became comfortable with each other, and many of our discussions would tend to discuss similar things, with less new ideas being developed. I found that some of my favorite and influential classes were when we would combine the two sections, as I saw that the other class would discuss completely different topics, and would bring up topics that our section had never touched on. I really enjoyed these meetings between the two groups, and I feel that they better helped to expand my mind, and helped me to delve further into the readings and questions at hand.

            I found that some days I would barely speak at all, and others I felt I would be almost leading the class discussion, and I realized this was based on the level of understanding and passion that I would have for whatever we were discussing. Some days I would have stronger opinions that I would want to express, and others I would have a weaker understanding of our discussion, and would choose to sit back and listen to what the ret of the class was saying, and would then play the believing game and true/false to see what I agreed and disagreed with in what they were saying, developing an opinion of my own.

            When I arrived at Bryn Mawr College I had no idea where the edges of my learning were, but through this class I found that they were at the edge of meaningful class discussions, and the edge of papers that pushed the boundaries of the traditional formula we were taught in high school. I had never written an academic personal narrative, and I had never been comfortable relaying my own personal experiences to the readings and our class discussions. Writing in a way that morphed both the personal and academic was foreign to me at first and a little awkward, which I could see as I went over my old papers, but I feel that from the beginning of the year I have moved passed the “toddler” phase and have learned how to do this in a way that is both comfortable for me, and makes sense to the reader. I loved the writing we did in this class, it was far more frequent than I was used to, but the papers were all so different from anything I had ever written that writing each paper became playful and enjoyable for me.

            This class was so important to me because it forced me to think for myself, and to break the molds I was taught in high school. This ESEM was the perfect transition from high school to college. With all of the stresses of moving across the country alone and living a completely different life, I felt that this class helped me to develop my own place at Bryn Mawr. I loved the playful aspects of this class, the availability of the trips into the city, and the people I was surrounded by. I am so happy I was placed in this ESEM, and feel that although I am sad to leave this class, I am ready. I have learned invaluable lessons that I feel will help me through the remainder of both my college career and my life.