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Anne Dalke's picture

On masculinity separable from sexuality

I thought that Felice Picano's story of his life and work formed such an interesting juxtaposition to Kimmel's thinking about "masculinity as homophobia." Some things he said that will stay w/ me (and I record here to be sure that they do!):

  • "I was a victim of the queer studies movement" (which may get the history
    wrong, not recognizing, for instance, the illegality of earlier gay behaviors:
    "content is context").
  • "I decided to be who I was for the rest of my life."
  • "Monogamy never interested me. Heterosexual marriage is a catastrophe"
    (="a failed business partnership, plus all those health costs!")
  • "Since Act Up Went Down, there has been no other issue" (but gay marriage).
  • "W.H. Auden said, 'education is the class system in America.'
    It's how we sort ourselves, and how we recognize class."
    (We had some interesting discussion about this: whether our educational system can operate
    as a means for individuals to rise in class stature, while perpetuating the already existing system.)
  • "Where you went to school comes in strangely handy; it allows people to place you."
  • "I've devoted my life to exposing various lies about how we actually live, as opposed to the way we say we do."
  • "All our lives, we are figuring out what the rules are, and then how to get around them."
  • "Gay sex was more hidden, but more widespread, before the sexual revolution:
    'I have more sex before....doing it on the down-low.'"
  • Before the sexual revolution, sexual behavior did not constitute a sexual identity.
    The behavior was acceptable in part because no identity followed from it.
  • "I have a crackpot theory of sexuality, with three levels: physical, social, and psychological.
    (Some one who is physically homosexual, for example, might also be heterosociable.)
    This will be useful to know when you start dating."
  • "Cultural perceptions of maleness are a track. I want to show you where some of the tracks are. I got off the train."
  • "Coming out is a process: it doesn't happen @ one time; there are different closets. Writer's block is about being in a closet."
  • "We have to limit ourselves in order to live. And we have to learn when to step out" (think of the amoeba's 'pseudopodia').
  • Masculinity is separable from sexuality: "to 'man up' is to follow a code of ethics"; it doesn't have anything to do with who you sleep with.
  • Overheard in conversation: "He was kissing her all day long; that was so gay" (W-H-A-T??)

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