Self-Evaluation

Before this class started, I spent the summer telling friends and relatives that I was going to be taking a feminist course at Bryn Mawr.  I said it with so much pride, like this class was going to make me a true Bryn Mawr woman, someone with knowledge of theory and strong feminist beliefs.  Now that the class is over, I’m not sure I even know what a Bryn Mawr woman is anymore.  Surprisingly, I am content with this.  There were times during this class where my head would spin because of all the opinions that were being thrown around.  At the end of the day, I really appreciated hearing so many people question systems of power and other opinions.   I have always hated the fact that I can be swayed so easily by a person’s thoughts or opinions; I have hated that I feel like I have trouble taking a stand for or against anything.  That part of my personality seems so ‘non-Bryn Mawr.’  That being said, I do think that this class has taught me the importance of having an opinion, whether or not you feel comfortable sharing it.

While I thought all of the content of the class was really interesting, I really enjoyed reading the texts that were less involved in theory.  I know coming into the class that I wanted theory because I had never been directly introduced feminist theory and I thought that would be essential to my Bryn Mawr experience.  However, I really enjoyed reading like Persepolis, The Doll’s House and The Book of Salt even though they required a closer reading to decipher the feminist context.  I think they were particularly important because they demonstrated subtle, underlying feminist tones that are prevalent in every day life.  Texts like these made me look harder for feminist issues that were being expressed versus theoretical texts and the Gender Workbook, which were more obvious about the issues that they wanted to address.

It is no secret that I was a quiet student in the class.  This is how I function in most of my classes.  That being said, all of the discussions that we had about silence and participation in class have made me think about my behavior in a classroom setting.  We talked a lot about the environment and how it could be more conducive to encouraging quiet students to speak.  And I do think that is a part of the issue.  However, I think most of it just stems from the fact that no other teacher has had me confront my silence before.  No one has ever asked my to analyze why I am silent.  No one has directly asked me change.  Obviously, I have been encouraged my other teachers and professors to speak up more, but this class is the first time that I really examined my silence and consciously thought about changing.  Hopefully, as I continue my career at Bryn Mawr this thorught process will teach my to open up further.

I think I was able participate the most in small group discussion.  I felt most comfortable sharing with people or advising during those discussions.  There was much less anxiety associated with the small group discussion and online postings.  Generally, I would spend an hour or so working on weekly Serendip postings for this class because I wanted to be conscious of how other students and other Serendip members would respond.  While my postings didn’t get frequent responses, I think it was because they were more focused on my own thought process or feelings, rather than posing questions.  All of my web events and postings were done on time because I have a hard enough time subscribing to Bryn Mawr time so I couldn’t image working on Queer time.  Although this class has made me think about queering my academic curriculum in the scheme of my whole life and whether or not it is significant to function on a sequential time line.

What this class has really given me is the ability to question.  I may not have always expressed that verbally; however, I do feel like I am capable of questioning, of disbelief.  I didn’t feel as confident in my ability to critically argue with people about my beliefs before this class.  I know my silence might indicate otherwise, but I do feel like I could potentially voice an opinion and stand by it. 

Also...the banner for my portfolio is piece of abstract artwork by Wassily Kandinsky.  I chose this piece of art because of the concentric circles.  I remembered that at the beginning of the semester Anne drew a diagram on the board of concentric circles labeled as the sectors of feminism that were becoming broader, encompassing all intersectional identities.  I thought that that representation was a good way of showing the progression of feminism.