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Why Do We Blush
Biology 103
2003 First Paper
On Serendip
Why Do We Blush
Maria Scott-Wittenborn
I have blushed easily all my life. I simply accepted it as unavoidable that whenever I spoke in class, arrived somewhere late or was singled out for praise or correction that my face would redden significantly. As a young child I simply assumed that everyone blushed as much as I did, and that it was only my unusually pale skin that made my tendency towards blushing more apparent. But this is not, in fact, the case. Some people blush more than others do and some families blush more than others do (2). Some attribute blushing to social phobia, though it differs in that it is not accompanied by a change in pulse rate or blood pressure (1). Blushing is generally thought to be a response to embarrassment, but is the emotion that triggers blushing as broad and general as "embarrassed"? Or are there more nuances to the emotional cause of what Darwin termed "the most peculiar and most human of all expressions" (2)?
My personal experience is that I tended to blush not exactly when embarrassed per se, but rather whenever I felt I was making, or had made, myself vulnerable to the criticism of others. When something I had done, such as arrive late, broke a social rule. What I could not understand was the purpose blushing served; what use could this phenomenon have? It became clear as I researched the issue that one's propensity for blushing was directly linked to one's sensitivity to the opinion of others (4). However, actual phenomenon of blushing is an appeasement behavior designed to signal to the rest of the group that the individual in question realizes their social transgressions and asks for the group's approval or forgiveness (1). People, like myself who blush frequently, have an oversensitive and therefore inaccurate perception of what constitutes a breach of decorum resulting in more frequent episodes of blushing than someone who did not perceive themselves to frequently commit social transgressions. The source of negative self- attention that results in this need to appease the group and by extension which leads to blushing were divided into categories: threats to public identity, scrutiny and the accusation of blushing (3). All of these result in negative self- attention and the sense that some social norm has been breached, resulting in the perceived necessity for an appeasement behavior, in this case, blushing.
Threats to public identity or a perceived negative reaction of other's often leads to blushing (3). Indeed, many people cited situations in which they have been caught or doing something of which they are ashamed as leading to blushing (3). This is consistent with blushing as an appeasement behavior. The person caught doing something that they perceive to be "shameful" or "improper" would feel the need to signal to the rest of their group that they recognize their transgression. That they reject their actions because they share the values of the groups other members and therefore that the group should accept them despite their mistake (1). Babies, for example, who have no sense of social norms or how they are perceived by others, do not blush at all (2). Blushing increases, though, when strangers witness something that an individual views as unflattering or which puts them in a negative light. For example, when three people together watched a video of one of them singing, the person who had been recorded blushed much more than the strangers (5). I personally remember the torture of being sent to theatre camp and forced to sing at the end of the summer program. The only way that I could get through the song was to stand sideways on the stage looking away from the audience, into the wings. The sight of all the strangers watching me was simply more than I could take.
Scrutiny and receiving large amounts of attention may also lead to blushing even though it may not be negative attention (3). The most obvious example of this being when adolescents of the opposite gender are in one another's presence. This is less a response to a negative reaction on the part of the observer, but rather a fear of insufficiency on the part of the blusher (3). The obvious conclusion to draw from this is that being the center of attention, positive or negative, will lead to a heightened sense of self-awareness. The blusher may feel shame or humiliation if they are the subject of negative attention, for example a publicly chastised student. The blushing would then be intended to apologize, to signal their awareness of the inappropriate nature of their behavior to all who saw it (3). It is a fairly effective way to mitigate further attack, and people tend to see it as a conciliatory gesture (6).
The accusation of blushing has been seen to increase the blusher's state. The inference that 'you are blushing' hence 'you must have done something worth blushing about'. The expectation to blush can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, the same is true of verbal feedback that blushing is in fact taking place. This is due to the fact that a propensity to blush is a serious source of anxiety to an individual who from past experiences expects blushing to take place (7). In general, having one's blush pointed out to a given individual makes them much more socially uncomfortable, though it often seems to be the source of amusement for those who are not blushing (7).
While the exact causes of blushing vary widely from individual to individual, I feel that my own personal experiences with blushing are very much in keeping with the sources three situations conducive to blushing that were discussed above. If blushing is indeed an appeasement behavior, it explains much of why, despite it's apparent lack of use, that it plays a role in our culture. It is an interesting link between one's physical self and one's mental self. What one finds embarrassing or worth apologizing for can be seen in an involuntary physical response.
Sources
1) Stein, D J. Bouwer, C. Blushing and social phobia: a neuroethological speculation. Medical Hypothesis 1997; 49, 101-108.
2) Darwin, C. The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. Chicago:Chicago University Press, 1872/1965.
3) Leary M R, Cutlip W D II, Brit T W, Templeton J L. Social blushing. Psychological Bull 1992; 3: 446-460.
4) Self-conciousness, self-focused attention, blushing propensity and fear of blushing, An article dealing with the the role that self-awareness plays in the cause and frequency of blushing
5) Empathetic Blushing in Friends and Strangers, An article dealing with the issue of blushing out of sympathy or empathy for another
6) Blushing may signify guilt, An article exploring the role that blushing plays in ambiguous situations of guilt or wrong-doing.
7)
The impact of verbal feedback about blushing on social discomfort
and facial blood flow during embarrassing tasks, An article exploring how being made aware of one's blushing tendancies by others affects the individual who is blushing.
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11/04/2005, from a Reader on the Web Hi Serendip, I share the same thoughts as you and Blushing has become nearly a everyday routine to me. I am hindered by the moments that I feel I will blush and when I speak in class thus making me feel out of placed and looked stupid. I really wonder if there is some kind of cure to this?? Regards, Erina
I enjoyed the article. For the past ten years I have been struggling with social anxiety disorder. By facing my fears and continuing to be involved in social interaction, I feel I've made great progress. However, I continue to blush to an extreme. When I blush it often results in facial contortions which are not in the least bit amusing to the people around me. It is unsettling to them and as I observe the look on their faces, it stirs within me a panic attack, making me more nervous. Some people who were once my friends, now seem to go out of their way to avoid me, even certain family members. There are people I feel comfortable around and don't usually blush in their presence. Usually, they are older people, immigrants, or people who also have some sort of an affliction. Also, as I get "use" to people, I seem to not blush. In turn, some people have gotten use to me. Personally, I take my blushing with a grain of salt, but it is difficult for me to enjoy intimacy with any one. I have been divorced for seven years and I would like to start dating again, but I feel my blushing is an obstacle. I seem to no longer have any close friends and this bothers me because I use to have lots. Fortunately, I am a private person and don't let the lack of intimate friends get me down too much. But recently I feel the need to be more socially involved. I have been to councelling. I am not interested in taking medication to control my blushing even if there are drugs that would help. Do you know of any foods that might increase the blushing response - foods that I should avoid? Or, do you know of any foods that might minimize the blushing reflex? I live about 20 miles east of Cleveland. Are there any support groups in this area for people that blush to the extent I do? Also, I would like to volunteer to work with social phobics, not only to help someone else, but I feel this would help me too. Thank you
Thanks for presenting your knowledge on blushing in such an academic and helpful way. I also am a frequent blusher, but never could understand the reason for my problem, because it happens even when I don't feel embarrassed at all! But thanks for your help. Bless you.
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thanks for the informative article, im a blusher, not only when i do wrong things, but also when i laugh when i talk, go into discussion, maybe because i get interested in everything i do, and the things that disturbs me that people immediately point it out saying "oh why your face is red" and that moment just kills... im a kind of a person who can't lie and very honest, whenever i try lying my faces blushes and i get caught, that's really annoying and i think the only way to solve this problem is to mingle and sit in a group and talk to alot of people, but unfortunately, my personality deosn't allow to do that since that i don't like mingling wih people and keep avoiding them, thanx again, we blushers are honest and whenever we see another blusher , we never tell him that his face is red because we know how it feels ... Noureddine, 15 September 2006
I consider blushing on par with a curse!!! Blushing has been my enemy from an extremely young age, which is why I felt the need to respond to this article. The author says "Babies, for example, who have no sense of social norms or how they are perceived by others, do not blush at all." I must dispute that theory. When I was still in diapers (under a year old - since I was potty trained by 1 year old) when my mom would change my diaper if my dad was in the room and made a comment my face would turn red. I, in fact, remember my face feeling very hot. My mother confirms this, saying I would turn red very red - even as a baby. How do you explain that? It was also stated that it is purely a social reaction because it doesn't happen when alone. I beg to differ. Recently I was painting my bedroom - all alone in the house. I realized I had chosen the wrong sheen - semi gloss instead of satin - and I turned totally red! I wasn't embarrassed at all. I simply realized it was the wrong sheen. My face seems to tuen red even when I truly don't feel embarassed. Then it makes me ebarassed because I'm red and people THINK I'm embarrased. Besides a red face, sometimes my neck even turns blotchy red. What other possibliity is there for such blushing, besides social embarrasement? ... Renee R, 20 September 2006
I have had a blushing problem all my life and it generally comes on when I am "on the spot" in a board meeting or being challenged by a colleague on any subject, important or otherwise. It seems to be getting worse as I get older! I am now 57 and feel it could hold me back from the final years of my career and would welcome any thoughts as to how to control it. I doubt I could take medication as I am on blood pressure treatment as it is!! ... John Scott, 9 November 2006
i blush so much! i hate it and i mean that i turn red i get so scared and so then i just want to cry because it is so bad ant i want to now how to make it stop. so plz help me because i want to be able to go up and talk to my class and not turn red and be able to have a boyfriend to without being Red ... Jennifer, 20 November 2006
I to have the case of blushing. I am always worried about what I will do to digger a blush act. I always blush when people look my way or when I am involved in activities such as running. Then I get hot and my face gets really red. Also I used to live in Washington state and only meet one other person at my school who blushed as much as me. Needless to say she and I became close friends. On moving back to Oregon I have meet many people that blush like I do. I will sit in seventh period and see lots of people who have this same problem. I think it is funny because they make fun of people who do it, yet when they are made fun of they...blush. It used to be that I would only like darker boys bacause I didn't want the chance that my kids would have to live with this ... JJ, 12 December 2006
Can anyone explain this situation. When I see a male friend, of whom I am very fond (and I think he is also interested in me), he blushes hopelessly. Is this an indication that he does not like the attention I give him, or is his blushing a sign that he feels inferior and is unable to express his feelings? ... Elizabeth Lilley, 13 April 2007
My problem has to a very huge degree spoiled my life. I have withdrawn from everything there was to enjoy in life. I even blush when I'm alone. I simply dread it. I know I've been talked about a lot. I have let friends drift from me and my family. I have lost jobs - one particular one 13 years ago I still think about with total horror. I have been described as different = (this is a word they use for people with problems like this in the Health Authority). I have heard a boss say that my problem was very disconcerting.
I would love to have had a life free of blushing. It is very controlling in that I have no control over it. I know other people are like me but I have never met anyone. I have read about operations but they are so expensive. The Highfield Hospital in London perform them ... Brenda Sheffield, 13 May 2007
Hi. Thank you very much for your very informative, as well as sensitive, posting on the subject of blushing. I discovered your site as I searched for links related to allergic reactions related to alcohol with skin flushing. Your posting has been particularly helpful as I have considered the relationship between blushing and the "allegic" response, which I believe in both case are nothing more than conditioned reactions within the mind and have nothing to do with the body, at the causal level, at all. Your posting has enabled me to form some potential emotional links to my "allergic reaction", as I realize it occurred when I was dealing with some thoughts steeped in inferiority and littleness along with some memories of a situation where I perceived judgment. Thank you for helping me better understand the cause, at its true source, of my reaction and how it is so closely attuned to the condition which to most sounds indeed more benign of blushing. This has helped remove the fear I had tagged to my experience. Now may we all realize the truth of who we really are, at one with each other, far beyond any reactions of either grandiosity OR littleness, and may we rest in the love of that union. Thank you! ... Mary, 21 May 2007
wow, you are an amazing writer, i must say i really enjoyed the article/paper.
i have struggled with this myself, but it started when i was around 15 years old, or at least it was then when i became aware of it. when ever i had to stand up to speak in class, etc (the other things you pointed out your self in the article) i will blush to a point that even my eyes will water, im 24 now and in vet-college and still got the problem, smaller crouds might not get me to blush though. i related a lot to one of the persons comments here, where he explained he used to have many friends and very sociable, till developing social fobia, hardly having any friends anymore. im going through that myself.
it was comforting to read about other peoples expierences related to this, i had never heard about other cases before, any advice is welcome! thanks for sharing ... Christian, 25 June 2007
The article and comments on blushing are very interesting. I'm 51 and I've blushed forever. I HATE IT, but I don't let it hinder me. I can think about a particular thing and I'll blush when I'm all alone - go figure! I've always tried to deny the fact that I'm timid because I see it as weakness, but the fact is, I don't like attention drawn to me. But I've had a very successful career in the corporate world and now I've switched gears to go into counseling. I hope my blushing doesn't make people feel uncomfortable, because I'm actually fine - I just have a bright red face -- which I guess could be pretty cool at Christmas! ... Reader on the web, 7 December 2007
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| This paper reflects the research and thoughts of a student at the time the paper was written for a course at Bryn Mawr College. Like other materials on Serendip, it is not intended to be "authoritative" but rather to help others further develop their own explorations. Web links were active as of the time the paper was posted but are not updated. |
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Comments
I'm Not The Only One!!!
Thank god. It seems like I'm the only girl at my high school who blushes. I blush when I cause attention, talk to guys, or any thing else really. I'm 15 and really wish that this curse could end. I'd do anything to get rid of it, medication, surgery, u name it. I have told my self to 'relax' when blushing, but does it work, NO. I'm afraid that I won't have a normal life when I'm outa high school and even get a job. I heard that Effexor works to take away blushes. Does anyone agree? or even have any other medications that work??
blushing
yea im 15 and it so shameful when i blush and it happens alot whats worse is when people point it which makes it even worse..
any good tips that actully work??
to save my embarrasment
hello, i have blushed since
hello, i have blushed since i was about 13 yrs of age atleast thats when i noticed it, it became so bad i used to skip school i missed so much when i did go back i was asked to leave so i never finshed school therefore i have no gcse's my mum and step-farther just thought i was being a difficult child i let them think that because i was ashamed of blushing. for yrs i have had fears of going into shopping markets for my shopping and getting half way around when i start to panick about blushing then i do and i just want the ground to eat me up and i run out and wait in the car my partner is very understanding an trys to help as much as he can i.e pays a tills etc i can't even go to my sons parents evening and speak to the teachers about his work without having a face like a plumb, i can't answer the front door without blushing, i even blush when i am on the fone and they can't see me and when i am alone, i do try to laugh it off with my friends and family but i have missed so many events with this problem an ive never met anyone who has the same problem wich is why i was relieved when i came across this site. does anyone have any tips on how to control this? i am only 24 yrs of age and want to do so much and do more things with my son.thanks stacie
help me
hello. I also have the same problem, getting blushed in public.
Infront of my boss in office, even with in friends circle and often some time
with relatives. I feel sometime really embarresed and ppl takes this in negative sense
my boss may think I am lying with him and not teling him the right story.
Nervousness
Well I just found something out today. I noticed that every time that I get nervous I start to blush, and when I'm at home, well I have nothing to be nervous about, when I'm with a few friends at my house or their house, well I have nothing to be nervous about. But when I'm school, I can't stop but being nervous, or blushing. And when I'm around new people, I also get nervous and blush, or if I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I get nervous and blush, weather or not the attention is on me...Is this how it works with everyone else? Do you guys get nervous then blush?
Blushing
I found that the anti anxiety drug Effexor was very effective with the problem of blushing. It worked almost immediately,within a week for me. However like all drugs there are side effects, but worth discussing with a psychiatrist (family doctor may not be aware of all the side effects and proper dosage).
Hey
Hello! =D Well I responded to this message like a day ago and it obviosuly didn't get through...hehe, well I am really excited now (that's not why I'm hyper lol) but you say this works!?! OMG that makes me so happy, because I have tried to calm myself down through breathing techniques, thinking different ways, ect. and all I found was that it made it worse! In school, I am constantly nervous and I noticed my face has started to turn red and burn more than usual...I think it's really embarassing! and I would go through all the symptoms to get rid of that and my anxiety!! I'm serious!! My great aunt came over today (she's awesome =D) and she has anxiety, and my mom does, and lots of people on my mom's side does, and now I do, well isn't that great?? Well when she came over I got nervous, and I don't know why, and I'm thinking of telling my mom that I need to see a psychiatrist, but I feel nervous telling her :( I want to get this medicine for next year as a senior. I don't want this to get worse.
Effexor
Hey, Well you know what I am definitely going to try Effexor, I think I will tell my mom that I need to go see a psychiatrist this summer for my scoial anxiety, and hopefully they can help me with the blushing too. This would be amazing if it helped! I'm not going to get too excited but I'm being optimistic like usual ;) Then I can test it out for next year when I'm a senior, because school is one of the places I blush and have the most anxiety. Thanks for the information!
Blushing has nothing to do
Blushing has nothing to do with ROSACE, blushing is a phychological issue, while ROSACEA is a medical issue. what I noticed is that my facial skin has been more sensitive to the sunlight, especially when the weather is high. I feel my skin 'hot' and sensitive, however, I have been using sunscreen, this seems to alleviate the symptoms.
does this have anything to
does this have anything to do with ROSACEA ??
coz i'm startin to worry about that..i dont want to look deformed some day..i have enough pain already coz of this blushing thing
plz i'm waitin 4 a reply and thnx in advance..
hello, I also have the same
hello, I also have the same 'problem' of blushing when I laugh with friends at work, or when I'm put on the spot. However, I have been doing something that seems to help subside the effects of this. as I am driving to work in the morning, I 'laugh' (forcefully) and I imagine myself being at work (in a general manner) with my coworkers. I see myself in the visor mirror and I am not reddish. I feel that it is all a psychological phenomena that had become engrained in my brain, and I associate laughing with dialation of blood vessels in my facial skin.
this practice of 'laughing' in my vehicle while I drive along with visualization has helped me. although I still need to continue this practice, I feel that I am in the right path to eventually control this in every situation. Let me know if it works for some of you. :)
I'm a 27 yr old who enjoys
I'm a 27 yr old who enjoys speaking in public, big or small groups. I honestly enjoy attention. I work in investment banking so am frequently in front of clients. Believe me, I enjoy presenting and answering questions so no fear on that front. As a baby, I had a very rosey face but when I came to NY from Italy as a child, my skin pretty much went pale. I have sensitive skin so the slightest touch or emotion will make it a bit red. I don't have the problem with specific people but I will blush out of the blue and when friends point it out, it just makes it worse. Oddly enough, I'm a walking contradiction as I like to talk about anything and nothing really embarasses me but over the past few years, I've felt/noticed it more and more. I find that relaxing or joking or smiling before speaking frequently helps with the blushing. So whenever it's a "ok, now it's your turn to talk" situation, it usually happens but if I'm brought into a meeting discussion early as part of a conversation more than a separate part, I'm fine. Anyway, I just wanted to make the point that a lot of times it has nothing to do with being timid or lacking confidence or having fear and more of the, "oh, people have said I blush so I'm probably going to blush now so here I go..."
Same problem
I have the EXACT same problem. I love speaking in public, drawing attention to myself, being the life of the party, telling jokes, etc., but I blush sporadically. In fact, sometimes I blush or don't blush in the same situation. I have weekly meetings at work, and when it is my turn to speak, I may or may not blush. When I ask a question in class, I also may or may not blush. I have no idea what triggers it. I am actually not sure when it started, but I have been noticing it more over the past few years. I've been reading about this, and it seems that self-hypnosis and learning to "relax" through breathing techniques is the best way to go. Does anyone have any useful suggestions? Has anyone been able to actually stop blushing or at least control it? I am certain there is a way to stop blushing, as I think this is a psychological problem.
Hello
Well I have read most of your comments and have the same symptoms. I have had social anxiety since grade school and it is not pleasant. I get nervous, sweat, shaky voice, heart racing, ect. And this mainly happens in school. If I were to go to the mall with two close friends I would be mainly fine (a few blushes here and there). I have had people joke saying "You like her" or even "You like him" and I blush. This sends mixed messages to people, it makes me look guilty. Well I must have done something this year, or maybe it is teenage ormones (I'm 17), but it hasn't left but has gotten better. I have lots of friends and always have (I don't know why O.o) lol, people say I'm nice, and they like me. This year I have been eating healthy and taking vitamins everyday, I also have stopped drinking pop, coffee, and most sugars. I am not saying this is the "cure", but if you guys want to try it to see if it helps, because I can't even imagine being in a realtionship, or having a job (esecially a cashier O.o!).
Well I'm off to school, everone have a nice day and find a way to stop this.
as many of u said me too i
as many of u said me too i cant even share my torture with anyone not even my ONLY friend(we're not anymore)..mom was always wonderin what's wrong with me and why i cant make new friends like the rest of guys my age..she knew i have this blushing thing but she didnt know how much it was killin me inside
now i'm 20 dont have any friends..lost the only girl i ever cared about coz she knew my little secret...i'm always thinkin about the future..how am i gonna meet my gf's folks(assumin i managed to find a girl feelin comfort next to her)..how am i gonna get past my marriage day with the spot light on my face..how am i gonna make a good impression in an interview
i just cant b myself not even when i'm alone....when i'm in a crowd and they're havin a discussion about something i ALWAYS have something interesting to say but i just cant coz i tried be4 and u know the rest..so ppl always point me as the weird guy coz i decided not to talk much with anyone and not goin to any public place at least not by myself...sad huh..it's unfair coz i'm a good guy and i'm nice to everyone and i have a good sense of humor but i just dont know how to show that
i just wish i can feel confident without worrin about what ppl think
and u know what's funny ? ppl likes me on the net but when we meet they get shocked
just hope it ends someday coz i cant go the rest of my life like this ..and thnx 4 lettin me express..it feels good
wow...always thought i'm
wow...always thought i'm alone...i blush whenever i'm with someone i dont feel comfortable with (especially girls)..i cant meet new ppl..i cant go to new places..i cant have a girl..i cant go to family reunions..i cant even have a normal career..bottom line , i cant do anything in a normal way in my life .. i thought this curse was gonna fade away one day but after readin ur comments (some of u r over 50) i'm havin second thoughts :( ...i'm a scorpio guy so i'm not weak..so i'm always wonderin why ? ..maybe a lack of self trust .. idont know..but i HATE it and i wish it could just stop so i can live a normal life not worryin all the time about what color my face is :(
Hello, fellow self-analyzing tomato-face turning, friends
I'm 17 currenly and in high shcool and overly blushing is not fun in the least. People find utter amusement in my "condition" and laugh at my blood red face. They gawk of how red it gets and it really bugs me. I fear I may never find love because of this blushing problem, and when they gawk at me it makes me feel I never will. Its not just the girls who can make me blush either, its sooo agervating any stikin guy who I don't find any interest in (I'm straight btw) can make a provacative comment to send my face into a flare. Almost anything can cause this "reaction", it hurts me deeply. In fact I'm still blushing from my class. The girls especialy bug me about it by showing false interest in me, which my face goes red and my confidence goes down. Though I try to make it day to day, I always find myself blushing at almost every situation. In my theator glass when we make impromt speeches, the girls always rant in the back ,which you guessed it, turns me into a tomato, and they don't stop they keep it going; I don't want to go back to that class. They are always toying with my feelings.
They never see the hurt in my eyes just the red on my face. In my Chemistry class I sit in the back, because I once accidently touched a teacher's behind when I was moving my book to the floor. I got harassed for weeks. In fact when we graduate its gonna be one of those "remember when moments". I've often thought of suicide, though not have the guts to pull it off. I'm already mainly socially dead as it is. It hurts it really does. I'm average looking and above average in my grades, but with this problem I feel so restrained. I'm wishing for a cure. Don't give up on life, though I've just not had the brightest happiest life, and other reasons contribute to the thought of.
Red faced, blue eyes.
Ben
I FEEL YOU
Its funny (not literally funny) how so many people have this problem, and here i am thinking im the only abnormal-blushing-for-stupid-reasons person in the world. lol. well i have to say, as we all may know, this condition is living hell. I hate it soooo much. I feel my life would be so much better if it wasnt because of my blushing problems. Im also in High School and it is hard to cope with it. I have NO problems with making new friends or talking to guys whatsoever, but ive noticed its certain scenarios that make me uncomfortable, leading to my extreme blushing. Like when im in a big crowd, for example at lunch. I cant even eat because im so concerned that i will blush at any moment. It is truly stupid. Or when talking in front of class, like for a presentation. I guess its my fear...mainly because i know i will blush. Its not even that im concerned of what people think, cuz really i could care less, but its just the fact of them pointing it out "You're turning red!" or "dannggg you're red" its just horrifying. I wish from the bottom of my heart that i could make it stop somehow, because my life is really not going good ALL because of my stupid blushing. I am dreading graduation now for fear of turning tomato red once i walk across the stage. I HOPE I DONT!! I WOULD DIE!! :((
I can honestly say i totally know how you feel first hand and i just want to say to not give up on life because of something like this. We wouldnt want to be known as the girls who died because of blushing, now would we? :) (little lame joke)
but anyways, keep reading articles about our little huge problem. Im sure knowing more about it, we can find ways to control it.
I wish you and everybody else suffering from this the best of luck.
If you or anybody else reading this try anything and get significant results, pass it on and help a sister in need please :)
Love,
AG
hello there :) just wanted
hello there :) just wanted to let ya know your not alone!!! im in hs and i have it to!!! i sometimes just want to curl up under my covers and never come out!!! i sometimes feel like i cant take it no more!!! but i wanted to tell you to keep living!!! even though we go through this alot there is always those happi times!!! i kno im no one important but i want you to know im proud of you!!!!:)
social anxiety disorder
i wonder from where to start,i am 24 and i've been suffering from social anxiety disorder since i was eleven ,so it started as a childhood disorder and continued till now ...I can't describe how it feels to be socially anxious,it is pure suffering with all the nervousness ,the racing heart beats ,choking sensations ,sweating ,not able to talk or ur mind going absolutely blank ...i suffered in classes ,i used to skip alot during my uni years ...and oh blushing is one of my dreadful symptoms ,i so hate to blush ,i hate the fact that i can't control it ,whenever i am in uncomfortable situation i instantly blush ...they used to call me tomato face :") or give comments like " oh why is ur face this much red,i've never seen such a thing before"
does anyone have a way to stop this ?
Hello my friends, today was
Hello my friends, today was a bad day during class. As it turns out, the teacher was asking the students for a response, she caught me off guard with a 'personal' question, as I sat at the front corner of the room, I could see all these faces and eyes looking at me, and you know the rest of the story. Somehow I managed to answered the questions briefly but not without a a bruise on my reputation and a scar on my development. However, I had a chance to come back and demonstrate that I could answer a question without getting embarrased, and I did. I bounced back and I feel a little better than if I would have left the class without speaking. My plan to overcome this personality deficit is to interject comments during a class activity, then to practice a conversation alone, then slowly expand my sentences and say my thoughts during a class discussion. I hope this works out. If anyone out there has suggestions, I will be more than happy to try them out, thanks and lets keep going!!
blushing
Good plan and I admire your courage to try to do something about it and overcome it. Realize the life is too short to give up on it and as hard as it may be, the fun is in trying to overcome it like you are planning to.
Each successful step will feed your confidence and eventually help you to overcome it. If you fail once in a while, so what? You are better person for at least tried it and keeps on at it.
Do you know king David in the Bible? He was a red faced boy. Out of all other brothers he had, he was the chosen one to do all the great works he has done.
Blushing is a sign that you have special qualities in you that others are not sensitive enough to have!
Best wishes.
Co-blusher of older age.
Blushing/social anxiety/cure
I have the same problem and I also get nervous very easily. I can sense that I like attention and that I want to talk but when the attention is on me or when I do talk I get very nervous and my face turnes bright red. I also notice that it's much worse if I can't see people's faces. For instance; I changed classes half way through the semester and I felt out of place and that people were judging me. When I was doing my work I couldn't see anyone and I started to turn bright red, I could feel it, and I guess I assumed they were all starring at me, but I knew they weren't. This only happens in big groups, I never blush or get nervous around my family or freinds (out of school), but just being in school makes me nervous, and when I get called on in class my stomach turns and I turn red, it's so embarassing. If I wanted the attention off of me it would make more sense that I wouldn't blush because it just brings the attention right back. I have actually feared the future with this, could you imagine me getting married! My face would be as bright the sun! And speaking at my kids weddings would be a disaster! I don't know how I'll get through a job interview. I'm assuming I have a blushing problem and social anxiety, because the nervous part seems to be different than the face turnign red. I would love to hear if anyone knew how to control this, I've tried taking deep breaths, or thinking of somewhere beautiful and peacful, but nothing happens.
i just wish i had a cure for
i just wish i had a cure for this! i have to say that the comments i have just read have made me both laugh hysterically (the wrong paint) and also cry at the same time, which almost made me blush and yes i am on my own! I am just so relieved to find out that i am clearly not alone, but that does not solve the problem which is really starting to get me down. I pretty much blush in the same situations as everyone has mentioned, to the point where it is affecting both my social and work life. I hate going out shopping etc.. (although i love clothes)in case i bump into someone i know as i seem to blush for no reason. I am just surprised to see them that's all, nothing else to it. I feel a physical change in my body and i used to get heart palpatations too, but now that i am on drugs for this, this rarely happens. i think the 2 are linked but have never met or read about anyone with the same symptoms so i'm not sure. i think one of the sadest things about this is that i have never spoken to anyone about it - my partner of 9 years doesn't even know how i feel, although he has commented on me going red from time to time. I tend to change my behaviour rapidly or leave the room somehow before my redness becomes too noticeable but this is not always possible and sometimes, especially on a one to one, you just have to go through the embarrassment of letting that person see you change colour and then spend the rest of the day feeling mortified.
The thing is, i can be a fairly confident person, but my blushing seems to hinder me being the self that i know i can be. I think people who blush like us just react in the extreme to the feeling of self consciousness. I notice when other people are clearly embarrassed and have become self conscious, they don't blush, therefore it must be something in our make up / genes that causes this.
I am glad to hear that the guy who said he was successful in the corporate world has not given up on his ambitions, as i myself have found that although quite succesful for my age, blushing is becoming a barrier to me feeling i can progress any further. i have always worked hard from an early age and God only knows how i would cope if i was in the public eye and snapped by the photographers, i would look like a tomato in all the photos!! i am not going to give up trying different ways of overcoming this but i do have little hope at the moment. i am going to try and take it one situation at a time. Good luck fellow blushers!
I loved reading everyone's
I loved reading everyone's comments, for the simple fact that I am not alone in all of this blushing/flushing business. Anytime I am talking (even 1:1) and the person is staring at me, looking me in the eye, I blush... This blushing/flushing has really only begun in the last 2 years. And I am wondering if it could have anything to do with a change in hormone levels? IE- changing birth control pills?
While i never liked speaking in public, doing speeches for school, etc. I have never blushed while talking in small groups or 1:1 with someone... What the heck is going on with me? Can anyone help or give concrete advice?
Thanks,
Sally
blushing
Im so glad to find this forum, I am 45 and have the problem with blushing. I hope this comments will help some of you. I have though about why I blush, it is not one thing but several things that contribute to it: 1) family dynamics-having a parent(s) that do not allow you to express yourself. 2) fear of what others might think of you-which translates to fear of rejection. 3) conflict with your sexuality (at an early age)AND your though of what others might think if they discover your secret. 4) you perceive the situation as a threat 5) feeling inferior to others or thinking others know more than you 6) fear of not being able to handle a situation. 7) feeling I'm always having to defend myself in a situation. However, this is what I have done to remedy this problem 1) feeling confident to express my feelings to my family. 2)knowing that you cannot please everyone, and if you cannot make them happy--who cares! 3) people will only know what you tell them about your sexuality--besides everyone has hangups 4) if I'm going to give a speech, I practice 10 times, visualizing the people in front of me. I practically memorize my speeches 5)not feeling inferior, I'm very important to some people. 6) I look for an 'escape' if I think the situation will be difficult. Good Luck
blushing
Hi, I totally agree with your comments and the importance that some previous negatives experiences in life might have in the way we are. In any case, our main worry now it's the fact that we blush and that is stopping us from reaching our through potencial. I'm sure any one out there has to say something about the number of times they have missed good opportunities of having fun, meeting people they wanted or participating in a cool activity. It has happened to me many times in my life. I'm now 29 and I'm still struggling with the same problem. I think we can overcome this problem bit by bit. I'm a bit reluctant to talk about it to my close friends because sometimes can be used to make fun of it and who knows.
I also feel a bit anxious as I have to start my teaching practice in a college soon. My bushing only happens for a few seconds but God!! they look like ages, It makes me feel horrible. I don't know what I'm saying anymore and I can't concentrate on it because I'm so worry in trying to stop it. It's weird because once I come down it seems that I gain my confidence again. I try to think in positive that whatever I say it is going to be seem as a contribution in the class and drink loads of water as I find it cools me down quickly and help to breath more easily. It also happens to me in some social situations but it's more controlable. Keep your chin up!! Marga
Best Man Speech coming up! I need some ideas!
Hi,
I am 25 years old and I blush exactly as described by so many others on this page. Which is whenever attention of a group is focused on me. The article has helped me believe that there may be a way to overcome this. I have to give a Best Man Speech in a month. My friend is well aware that I turn red and says not to worry about it. But I would love for people to hear my speech instead of being distracted by me turning red. :) So if anyone out there has any tips let me know.
speech
Hi, Nathan, just wondering if you survived your Best Man Speech, you said it was coming up in about a month, I hope it went well
im only 14, in high school.
im only 14, in high school. not fun!!!!!
it strted wen i strted high school, before then, i loved 2 sing in front of ppl, but now i cnt even sing in front of my m8s without blushin n i h8 it cuz i luv 2 sing!!!!!!
i blush all the time, i can't do anything without blushing, n wen i say blush i mean bright red blush, my whole face goes red!!!!!
n it dusnt help wen ppl cum up 2 me n say 'ur face is lyk a tomato' or 'god u went bright red in that assembly'
i don't get it, i flippin h8 blushing, no-one else in my class blushes like i do, none of them blush at all!!!!!
it makes it seem as if i've dne somethin wrong when i havent...i'm just so mad about it
how do i control it?
if any1 has any 'theories' or 'tips' on how to stop this, plz, plz, plz tell me...i'm desperate!!!!!!
I want my life back!!!!!
plz help!!!
Hey
Hey, i know how you feel i am 13 years old and i hate blushing like not even kidding i am like you when ever i am in class then my teacher calls on me and i dont know the answer my face turns like really red. I just want to hurt my self so bad but anyways, my tips would be to try blushing in front of a mirror and try to find a way to not blush it helps try relaxing your muscles make will NEVER! work trust me i have tried but your redness will wear of sometime so dont worry about it so much because other peoples faces at some point get red so just take deep breaths when it happens!!!! good luck
omg! i feel the exact same
omg! i feel the exact same way. I can not even answer a question in class. i ma the only person that i have ever met that blushes like that. There is this man at church who is a family friend and every time he comes over to tell me hello my face goes red. Even when he commented on my hair it turned red. One time when i was tlaking to him my face turned so red that he stopped talking and started starring at me. He said "i'm sorrry i didnt mean to make you blush" then he called my dad over there and told him about how he made me blush. that made it worse. I'm so sick of it. sometimes i want to die when my face turns red. One time i was sitting in front of my teacher and she asked me what i did over the break. my face turned so red i thought i was going to die. i need help just like you! can anybody help us? plz!
blushing
yh mate im the same- well when i'm around friends that i've known for a while i dont blush as much, but most of the time i do around most girls unless i know them really well and dont feel threatened or put under pressure by them.
im 16 and ive only really started going to house partys and stuff. If i get on with some girl really well i usually start to get very consious of what im doing around her and tend to go red after a while.- and it really doesnt help if she or one of her friends points it out. it just makes it soooo much worse. Usually when i drink a lot tho i feel so much more confident and find myself doing things that i wouldn't dare do around girls if i were sobre. its a relly good feeling but thats practically the only time i can be really confident without going bright red.
I can be confident around certain girls tho and sometimes be the centre of attention and i wont go red at all, but i suppose its just if u feel comfortable with who you are when you're with them. but i hate it and i really hope it doesnt effect me when i go to uni or later on in life. Good to hear about others having the same problem and that I aint the only one.
The only thing thats worked for me so far is drinking and i dont think that i can rely on that my whole life, but owell.
Blushing
From what people tell me i am always blushing. If anything is said or done i blush but the thing is that i never notice till someone say o lyndsey why are u getting all red or something to that nature, and of course once that is said it gets worse ... i guess the point of this is to ask the same thing others have how can i stop it or at least bring it down ???????
blushing
I have been trying to find a cure for this horrible state- I heard an interview on the radio about someone who had an operation which severed the blood vessel which causes blushing... i think psychologically if you thought the blood vessel had been severed, you would not have to worry about blushing because you'd believe you were unable to blush! How wonderful would that be! The problem must be a psychological one- but how to tackle it? I've wanted to be a teacher for years, but am too scared to attempt this because of fear of blushing! The fear of blushing is worse than blushing itself. The self- hatred is the worst thing. I blush when anyone speaks to me- for no reason whatsoever. I dont blush in normal embarassing situations- and people think I'm weird or some sort of social misfit- why is she blushing? I've only asked her what soup she's eating! It must be some sort of hyper-sensitivity- but it is certainly escallatory if thats the word. (It gets worse in your mind, the more you anticpate blushing).
My Dad recommended a book "I can and I will" - it was motivating but didnt give me a leg-up. He got over his blushing- so it can be done. If anyone can operate on me, please help...
Rachel.
blushing: reply
ok. I have the exact same problem. When I am publicly chastized, or when I am speaking with the opposite sex even. I am extremely shy and even blush on the PHONE! why do I do this? its a mystery to me. I do think it'd be wonderful if we really could end blushing.
I'm in high school, and of course that doesn't help. I like talking to my guy friends. and they know that they're just guy friends and nothing more. but i blush when i talk to them nonetheless. I don't know why, and my sister's the same way! my mom doesn't know why either.
I wish I could help you but I am dealing with the exact same thing! I just wanted to let you know that you're not the only one out there.
I am 27 years old ... for me
I am 27 years old ... for me worst, for gals blush is still alright but me always got blush red when i feel uncomfortable or shy with new friends...
Anything i can do to prevent that?
thanks
Blushing
I hate blushing, it makes everything positive i've done that day or week dissapear, and although i focus on the negatives now it just seems to be getting worse.
I think its mainly because i'm hiding something that i'm also ashamed of, and coming to terms with, my sexuality.
Uni has just made it worse, where we can "openly" talk about things like that, even though my couscillor says just ignore it, and i want to just get on with my life, and not have to lie, i'm not ready, and this is'nt helping
there seems to be no bright and happy future, because even if i beat the blushing i then have to deal with coming out lol.
god its gonna be a hard few years!
I guess its nice to know people are in the same boat (its just a shame that one of those persons is my sister, who sed she blushes now)
maybe i'll talk to her about it all.
Theres medication, CBT, and group sessions available, but i cant see it helping.
oh well, have to just wait and see.
thanks for that amazing article though, i'm favouriting it!
Cheers
Craig
Is there a cure for blush
I alway blush everywere i go an I try to control myself but i can't
I don't even try to go to the store or to family reunions cause of the same thing that always happen to me. please help me.
blushing preventatives
hi,
why don't you use makeup? if you
put on a lot of liquid foundation that's
one or two shades lighter than your skin,
that should cover small blushes.
Try breathing exercises or mentally
imagine situations that may make you blush,
such as standing in front of people or talking
to certain people. imagine you being very confident
and not blushing.
hope it helps!!
:)
blushing
hey im 14 and i used to blush and no there is no cure but i have learned that if u have a high social status that you dont blush at all and there is one big thing you have to have is alot of confidence in yourself that helped me
blushing
i know how you feel i am a student in high school, although i still manage to make a lot of friends,everytime i called out or even just have to look someone in the eyes i blush, bad! In school all my friends are really talktitive, and often call me out in the middle of class, everyone notices i blush, which leads to more embarrasement, and i am to the point where i hide form situations i am nervous about, i hide my face when sitting at my desk. Ever since that one day in seventh grade likfe has sucked because of a stupid thing called blushing. Like u i have always wondered if there was a cure for this annoyance. LET ME KNOW i anyone has replied with some suggestions.
Hey i am also in high school
Hey i am also in high school and i 2 blush alot. The funny thing is ur supposed to feel more comfortable around ur friends buti blush more in front of them. Its prolly because they make fun of me for it. My friend blushes to but not as much as me, and i blush the most in front of me because i no hes looking. Im confident in fron of girls but when im asked a question in school by a teacher..... boom bright red. I think my blushihng hasnt reacher its full annoyance to me yet howeever this problem will only grow. I thought id grow out of it but the truth is its become much worse and is starting to controlling my life
Why do we blush
I have blushed crimson red my whole life. It started in my teens when as a very shy girl I tried to fit into the popular crowd. They thought it was funny or sweet; I was horrified and in turn, ridiculed. I am undertaking a volunteer position in the art world and while those around me see me as an extrovert, it is a shield to cover my lack of confidence around people. I know when I have to stand up and speak in front of them and answer questions, I will lose it completely and blush. Of course no one will understand why. All it takes is the thought that I am the centre of attention and everyone is looking at me to trigger the blood pounding in my face. It isn't even wanting to be accepted anymore; it's the taunts and ridicule from my past that keep creeping into my head. I know I am dealing with adults and the past should just stay there but boy, it is hard.
ya i blush
i have always been a blusher, well since about puberty. I'm am 22 and I've gotten used to it for the most part. i have a job where i work with the public all the time so i can get used to different situations, but this doesn't work when people take a personal interest. to cope with when i do flare up i try relaxing breathing technics the least obvious of which is in the nose and out the mouth slowly, and quietly lest i be discovered. i keep my hair short so that i cant hide behind it because it would be obvious why i tried to keep my hair like a curtain, and I'm sure it would have allowed me to stay red longer. i decided that i had to get it under control when i asked someone for a pencil and turned purple.... not just red and i got very lightheaded. from then on i developed myself and became a very strong willed person and I'd like to think interesting because of all the books i got to read while avoiding the spotlight for so long. i do still blush, but it doesn't haunt me so much anymore